Ever been in a real relationship? Then I guess you have an idea of what it means to meet her half way.
I was meeting her half way, literally. She lives in the other end of the world where the sun rises first from, I live on the side where the sun sets at. Halfway is Naivasha.
It took an hour for her to get there. I hadn't left Nakuru yet. So that meant she would be waiting for me for an hour, make that two cause I don't have feathers or a jet engine in my backpack to fly.
If I could fly it would be faster, there is no traffic in the air, but I was on the road. And I was becoming a riskier driver every time there was a lorry in front of me. I became more and more daring when it came to overtaking. Until an on coming car almost smashed me to pieces. I chilled out, she is my girl, she will wait. She is my girl, she will not be that mad, she is my girl, she really loves me, she would want me to arrive alive. Next time I will not be late.
I couldn't even eat the potato chips crisps that lay on the co-drivers seat, the chocolate on the gear box thing. The red bull on the cup holder. You know the ultimate drivers snack. Almost chilly crisps, then chocolate to dampen the chilliness, then cold red bull to wash it all down and keep you alert on the road. My stomach felt like a tied rope, until I got to Naivasha.
"babe, where are you?"
"close to the bridge... At the matatu stage on the road, am parked there."
I love Naivasha. It has jeeps and people's heads peeping out of them feeling the air massage there body. It has simple cars with sunroofs that are actually used. Then it has those people that stare at babe and I when we park at a bus stop, she leaves her car on hazard, I leave mine on hazard. I have to be a man but as I walk I feel like I want to take off like a plane but I don't, am a guy, she however can do that cause she is in a pink top. She runs, we literally jump on each other forgetting as much as we are love, we are body, and not sponges, I hurt myself a little in the hug. I lift her up and spin her round. She screams the people in the matatu stare through their windows.
"I follow you? Yes?"
She always asks a question, then asks Yes? At the end of it. It's very successful to negotiate like that. Yes? See, what I mean? Yes?
After the hug she is a little cold. She just leaves back to her car. The right indicator goes on. I follow her. She drives fast.
She parked her car next to mine. Before I could get out of the car, she was already trying to get onto the horse. They were three of them, a pony, a black horse, and the white one.
You can guess which one she was getting on. She always has loved that one. She has always been fast, by the time I was on mine, the stable guy was on the pony and she was already a distance away.
"...boss, leo nataka afurahi kabisa, tengeneza maneno yangu"
"si unajua I always do that."
"sasa, wewe ni stable guy wa aina gani, si this is the mad horse you've brought out for me"
I tapped my heel on the horse side.
"April, April, move April..."
I clicked to urge him. I tapped my legs harder. It doesn't listen, it could always start jumping, it was mad, I could have exchanged the horse with the stable guy's small pony. But then my lady will be on a bigger horse than mine. Not flittering.
I had to catch up with her. The stable guy followed, he follows us all the way anyways, making sure we are safe. I was taking a risk moving fast, and the bloody horse couldn't keep in the middle of the road, I don't know what April deal with running at the edge of the road, or he just liked trying to get me get hit by the tree twigs peering into the road.
Finally.
Babe was by my side, we were moving at the same rate.
"babe, you couldn't wait for me?"
"...how does that feel?"
"you know you always tell me you will call me back and am left waiting for you to call back..."
"babe, when someone says they will call back sometimes it's just Good Bye"
"no it isn't!"
I could see she was trying to move faster, slowly her horse was overtaking mine. Angry.
"I wait, you know I wait all night for you to call only to find out you are snoring and I am seated next to the phone thinking and waiting on you."
Babe, it's not such a big deal. I urge April to move faster. Why the hell does she make such a big fuss over a phone call? It's better we ride in a straight line, not parallel.
"babe, snake, snake."
"where? Where? Where?"
She starts screaming. I laugh at her. We laugh a little. Then she pulls the string. Her horse stops. Do you want to kill me? What if he jumped up and made me fall? I am forced to stop to.
"it was a joke babe, you know I would take a bullet for you babe..."
"you would take a bullet yet you scare me for no reason?"
"babe, am sorry, let's just enjoy the ride we will talk when we don't have company."
I try to ride ahead of her but she doesn't let me. I get a little mad.
"want to go for another round?"
"no I want us to kiss."
"how?"
So, I try to get April to move close to his white fur friend but he doesn't move close enough for us to kiss. We spend around twenty minutes trying to do this but our efforts are fruitless. In fact April just got hungry and angry, he started to graze like he was a cow! Cow!
"head back to the cow? Sorry, car?"
"cool"
The last ride was a pleasant one. Only problem is that April started with his madness. He wants to jump, he is making noises, he is running when am asking him to stop, he is turning left when I want him to turn right. I am unstable and stable man is not moving fast enough to catch up with me. In simple terms I am trapped on top of a horse that wants to kill me.
People have fallen off horses and broken necks. I was glad babe was off her's just in case horse madness is contagious or they infect each other with crowd mentality. But she tried to follow me running. I could see she was trying to save me just with her eyes and the pace she was running towards me.
"babe, babe, hold on tight babe, babe hold on tight!"
And I am holding on tight. I don't want to let go. I pass the car at the speed of a car and idiot animal is taking me to the stables.
I promise I will never ride that horse again.
"babe, am glad you are safe."
"wow that's sweet."
"maybe I should get into trouble more often so that you can be nice to me!"
She left my hand hold itself. We were walking towards the car together but I think she was stamping her feet harder than usual. How would you know she was mad? Or was it cause she had blown air into her cheeks? Had to be stamping her feet.
"yours or mine?"
They were packed next to each other. We ended up sitting in mine overlooking the lake.
As she tried to pour juice into the plastic cups, food, the apples, the snacks and the cookies were between us on the back seat I remember thinking. Isn't she pretty?
Doesn't she have absolutely lovely taste? Her dark blue light jeans? Her pink flowing top with hints of her bosom, her bright light skin, her erupting fresh smile, she smells like an airport, she laughs like a free spirit, she wears a sweater like a foreigner, she loves like an artist. She has fun like the french, no fast foods, long lunches, beautiful meals, feaster. Proud as a kenyan, beautiful as an angel, she kisses like Africa. I could take the whole world and love her with it.
"babe, who made the chicken?"
"the house help."
"babe, the chicken tastes like shit..."
"am the one who made it!"
She stops serving it.
"my chicken tastes like shit? Eh! Okay, you not having it."
But am hungry. She even takes the one in my hand packs it back into the hot pot. She was serious.
"...but babe, am hungry."
"make your own chicken?"
"can I have the cookies then?"
Okay. We cuddle the rest of the time before I heard one of the mosquitoes enter the car telling his other friend mosquitoes, drinks are on me!
This place is a blood bath. She gets mad get out of the car gets into her's. I follow her.
So, she is in her car's back seat, am trying to push her down gently so that she is lying on the seats. Her car windows are tinted!
"babe, babe..."
She is trying to hide her neck from me.
"babe, get off!"
"you know you want it..."
"babe, not in the car, get off."
"you know what, you always want your way, I dont care anymore."
I slam the door, I start walking to the lake. Maybe I can drown myself there. It's enough that this is a long distance relationship. Women want to talk, men want to sex. We've been talking more than we have sex thanks to this long distance shit. And she wasn't letting me, the little time we hard. I felt tired of holding us together.
She was following me, I was trying to walk faster away. All of a sudden she was in the middle of the field and she was rooted still like an anchor. Something was wrong, that's when I saw the dog. It was staring at her. She was trying to become invisible.
I fear that dog. It's the size of a lion monster, I swear. The first time I saw it I wondered why they even brought it, I thought it was a doll. Only to see it rise up pick a piece of meat tear it up crash the bones between it's teeth then it went back to lie like a doll. It was simply too big to be real.
And my love for my girl is to big to care for big dogs. I approach her slowly not to agitate the animal. I put my arms around her, I shield her from the dog with my body. And we start walking slowly stealthily away. I can feel her shaking, we dont want to talk. Even whispering would be too daring. Slowly and steadily to the car. Once we were safe.
"I love you babe..."
"I love you to."
I carry her and place her ass on the bonnet, I live my hands in her back pocket. And we kiss.
"you always have your way..."
"I dont like that."
"you always talking about your blog, that's the only time you call, that's the only thing you tell me about you,"
"we've been talking for a year straight every single day, am a guy, what do you want us to talk about shoes?"
"no, just tell me how your day was, is that that hard?"
"babe, am a guy I can't start telling you what I was wearing, what my friends said about..."
"am a guy, if you ask me how my day was, I will want to tell you about politics, about cars, about global warming, about my blog, technical stuff..."
And I went on to explain that we have always bonded over hugs, kisses, love songs, mushy stuff like that, and to be fair she needs to bond with me on things I love. Guy things. I told her I didn't particularly fall in love with her stories about the bags she went to buy, or her complaining about how her friend makes her feel. I can't talk feelings all day, let's balance, cars, feeling, shoes, politics. Good?
She looked at the time on her watch.
"I always wear this watch, thanks for getting it for me"
"...it's getting late we have to go."
She looked beautiful seated on the bonnet. My hands on her thighs and my lips on her's.
"we exchange cars to the gate?"
I threw her my keys, she threw me her's. She dropped her's. I asked her to play lawn tennis with me more, it will help her aim. She told me I was the one that should work on my aim. Wrong hole! Isn't my girl just daring? How does she just say something like that.
She believes if you open car windows the car gets old. Hers is an SUV, it felt really high, the road looks really far down. It's just different. It smelled of her, it had girlish things inside, like lotion, lip bum, perfume. Her books, her sweater.
She lead the way again. I followed. Don't I just love everything about her. I love the files she chooses for her notes. I love where she places her hand bag. I love her key holder. I love the way she carries herself, I love the way she arranges her things. I love the way her things are not as arranged sometimes. I love that she loves me, I love her. I haven't even started talking about why I love her and I have already told you how much I love her. How does she ever feel distant from me when I even love the files she chooses for her books? And probably I just love them cause they are hers. The way she laughs. How? How babe? You know how ridiculous you sound when you say you feel distant from me? You in my heart? I dont think there is anything that can be closer to my heart than you.
I got out. Handed her her keys. She handed me mine. We hugged. I shuta-d. We kissed she said good bye.
We did it in public knowing if anyone had any issues we would have sped off before they could walk up to where we were.
Just before I could open my door. She pulled me, she started hitting my chest like it was a drum. Pulling my shirt like she wanted it off. Hugging me so tight. I put my hands around her. She started to cry.
"baby, I know. I know."
"when will I see you again?"
"babe, I know. I know."
She was wiping her tears in my shirt. I could feel them warm on my chest.
"I love you babe..."
"I know, I know."
She got in her car. I got into mine. We drove off. Parted ways.
