I have a confession to make. Before I knew what true love is. I pretended to be in love cause it has obvious advantages. Constant supply of sex.
In a relationship, you always have someone home in your bed waiting for you, even though you go out to the world searching for someone else.
So I was with this other girl, can I tell you a little bit about her? She is smart. She didn't know I was dating someone she thought she was the only one. But did I mention she was smart? As in she is so smart even when she is drank and her mind is not working it is working for her.
Cause there was this time, she was high. She was talking to me but was not being logical for obvious reasons. She was drunk. I was getting mad at her cause I was trying to explain something to her but there she was being illogical. But every time I was mad, she came to my face and blew her breath in my face. And I would remember she is a little high from her breath so I got less irritated by her illogicalness.
We would talk some more, I would forget she is high, and her mind without thinking would tell her it would be appropriate to blow some more drunk breath on Bob's face so that he understands my state. I understood her state. See why I say she is smart.
The other thing about dating a smart chic is she invents a time machine you can use to reverse time when you come pre-maturely. Okay, maybe am kidding. Anyways, the thing about dating a smart chic is that they sense when you are lying to them. It doesn't come out in fact form, like you are cheating on me because of the text in your phone, you are cheating on me cause you came late home, you are cheating on me cause I don't wear thongs that big, it comes in like you are cheating on me cause I have a sense you are, something is just a miss!
So am following her in the streets as we walk giving her all the attention. You are beautiful. I love your hair and what not. But she is oblivious, she isn't talking much, I am sort of sucking up.
We walk into the shop she keeps picking stuff she is buying, she is doing her things like she does on a normal day, it's as if I am following her trying to convince her something. Which I was. She didn't care much.
We reach the counter, cause am a guy I tell her to put her purse away I give the cashier at the till my credit card. I am still so absorbed talking to her, we almost left without my card and the receipt. And she hasn't said a word, okay maybe she has once or twice but am the only one talking.
She seats down finally and decides okay, she will listen to me. I don't need to be told what she needs to be told. I know what she feels. She feels like she is not the only one, but she doesn't have evidence, so she opts to just be cold to me. She had been so cold to me the tips of my fingers had turned to ice.
So, I become a clever one and told her, hey, you are an incredible person, I love your hair, I love your shoes, the moment I saw you, I knew I wanted to kiss you. And when I kissed you I knew it was perfect cause you let me take charge like a man does. She fell for it.
We had been on my bed before, but I needed second round. And I was going to get it.
This is why I don't keep alcohol in the house. Because when guests come, especially when they are chics they want to drink. I ask her not to but she insisted. And since you can't be mean with food or drinks cause it's bad manners, I let her pour herself some scotch. Can you imagine she blended it with coffee?
So as the alcohol makes her less shy of exposing her self, I become excited. I love the way it all makes her feel more confident. She reveals more of who she really is inside. The coffee stimulates her. She becomes loud. She starts to have dance energy like the Energizer dance bunny, seen the advertisement? Not yet? But you get the picture right. Wish you were in that position?
So there she is standing on my sofa. Not seated, standing! Not anywhere on the upper part of the sofa! I am seated at the edge listening to her. Hoping she doesn't fall, cause then I would have to dive under her and use my body as a cushion for a safe landing. She is heavy mind you!
"you know what, I would like, I would like to change the world..."
And she drinks some more walking on the sofa like it was a string at a circus. One step after another.
"If I could, I would and I can with Heaven's help."
And she drinks some more.
And she looks absolutely lovely. She is in a tshirt and some very sheer underwear that could fit in my mouth easy. What more could a man want that to be where I was then? What? Tell me?
"I want to change the world..."
It's as if she was talking to thousands of people. If she shouted any louder my windows would break, and the birds outside would burst.
Am thinking, she could make a good motivational speaker, if she wore some pants on. The more she talks I think maybe a politician, but she might need smaller boobs fro that. A pastor? Major repenting. I don't know which cause all her thoughts are jumbled up. She is jumping from topic to topic like pop corns roasting. But I see passion, deep inside, I see smartness. That plus I see her naked.
But I gave her time cause she was becoming interesting and sounded smart, but not smart enough to outsmart me. She was at my place before, we had done it before. But like food, you eat once and you want to eat again, I was hungry for her again.
I wanted us to do it, but she was hesitant cause she was afraid she was not the only one, she was right. But I was smart. She was half naked standing on my table, wasn't she?
I wanted to seize her in a kiss then, but I wanted more to know what she thought her true calling was. And now that she was opening up, I let her talk. I decided the moment I got to know whether it was a politician she wanted to be, a president a motivational speaker, I would help her. But before that I would pull her pants down and have her right on that table.
She wasn't making a decision on what she wanted to do, I was becoming impatient to a point I wanted to chose for her. Politician, speaker, preacher, musician, lecturer... It had to be one of those. She was really giving a good speech, I would have recorded it for you guys. But I know you guys would be watching the video for the nakedness and not for the words here.
She came to the bed where I was lying. And lay next to me.
I started kissing her. I tried to urge her to eat me up, but she held me and formed a fist with the other hand. You know fists are negative body language, so I stopped before she did anything.
She kept opening her legs though, and I started thinking. Probably she wants us to just go straight to doing it.
Having that in mind, I assumed position. If I was cream and she was cake, we would be queens cake and icing on the top. You should have seen me on her, i was so happy that in seconds I was going to have her, without her knowing she was the other-woman.
"...I love you"
She told me. Am thinking, oh am going to have fun with this. I grab her better, so that she is right in the middle of the bed. Ready.
"...you know we shouldn't be doing this."
"my body is the kingdom of..."
And am thinking. Okay, please no verses right now. But then she is high, she is laughing and what not. I decide not to think about it and go on.
"...you know the good thing about our religion, it's about repentance."
"ain't it a bitch?"
"I mean, it's as if the words are overflowing in me even though am drunk...right?"
I start to get irritated. But I can't just tell her to shut up cause when someone talks about heavenly matters you keep that urge to tell them to shut up in you. Cause deep inside you know, hey there is a heaven, me be decent though I am bad.
"...you are being too loud"
But what I really mean is, shut up.
"...but he sees what we are doing, we can't be perfect but he forgives us."
And right there my blood rushes back to my mind. I start to think; I don't love her, she is nice,yes. She is bright, yes. She is not a night runner, yes. But I have someone else she doesn't know about. Why do I have to do this to her? Why can't I just get someone else? It's just sex I want anyways.
"...but he sees what we are doing, we can't be perfect but he forgives us."
So I get off her. I lie next to the bed facing the other side. I intentionally did that.
"so how many guys have you slept with?"
I ask this cause I know she is high so she will not lie to me, secondly, she let me look at her kabisa so it means she has sank the embarrassing-nerve in her brain in alcohol and it has drowned dead.
"four."
I think that's a fair number. I want to ask her whether she has slept with a guy without a condom but if you ask that question like that people lie. So I become witty about it.
"how many times have you taken a pill?"
"...with one guy he was my boyfriend."
And am thinking his boyfriend was such an idiot. Why would he cheat on such a sweet girl. And I stop thinking that immediately I realize I am being a classic case of a black kettle calling the black pot black. Sex!
She tells me...
"...church is a place where imperfect people go to worship a perfect God."
And I decide, if I am going to be a bad boy. I will be but I will not be a bad boy with her. She deserves a good person.
