International law class starts in around thirty minutes, so I got to kill this by that time. You asked me to write faster, then here it is.
I wish my alarm clock went off with coffee. Have you noticed that if you wake up sip a whole mug of coffee, then go back to bed, your body will just wake up by itself after ten minutes? I call it coffee O'clock. We invented it partying. When the girls decide they need to sleep between 7pm and midnight. You don't wake them up to go out, you wake them up and pour MacCoffee in their system. And wait for ten minutes for it to kick in.
This wasn't at night, this wasn't about partying, it was about work, it was morning at around 8am, I had a Criminal Law book in my hand, to match with the exam that was coming up. I didn't want women, I didn't want parties, I wanted books, plus a dose of coffee to stimulate me to study. It was one of those days you know will be dull from the morning. And you hoped it remains that way, why?
Cause when you are in the exam room, and you start wondering what everyone else is writing, there could be only two things wrong, they could all be writing wrong things, or you could be just about to write wrong things. Not yet writing but just about to write cause when you don't study and you dint have content, it's guess work isn't it? That's when you en-largen your handwriting you need to feel the pages don't you, with what? Guess work and an exam paper is not a blog. Your imagination doesn't just cut it.
I know the exam paper is not a blog. So I was busy studying, phone on silent mood no distractions.
Knock. Knock. Knock. I ignored. But you know, not believing something doesn't make it go away or untrue.
"hiiiiiiiiii"
"hi"
the shorter hi was mine. Not interested. She throws her hand bag on the sofa. Oh no she is staying.
"can I get you something to drink? Breakfast?"
...can you please leave.
"no"
"okay"
She seats down, turns on the television.
"I've changed my mind... what do you have?"
"ummh eggs, sausages, serial...porridge?"
She laughs. She looks for movies, so I know she will be staying a while. Why doesn't she care that I have exams? Why can't she let me read? She only cares about herself? I never disturb her when she has exams.
I fixed her breakfast, I sat with her as she had it. I watched every slice she picked, I hoped the coffee would cool off first, eat up, eat up, so that I can leave you watching telly cause I need to go study for my exams. I need to study.
"are you okay? You look sad?"
"...am okay."
"no, you look sad."
"...am okay."
She wasn't taking her breakfast anymore. Finish it, finish it. Please. Why is she so selfish. She totally did everything possible to make sure I didn't study. She pulled my trousers down. She made me pull her top up. You can't stop when someone lets you pull her top up. Even though you have books to read, there could be a fire in the house, but if her skirt is up, for a moment you find yourself weighing your options. How could I resist.
It was fun, like it normally is when you want it badly; then you decide to just do anyone, when it's all done, when you are more rational than animal, you get upset at yourself for what you did. She was hot. I didn't get upset about that. I got upset at her not caring about my needs. She didn't feel like attending her morning class, so she came to my place to disturb me as I studied for exams, she did not feel like watching televison and letting me read, she didn't care that I had exams, instead of letting me read in the next room, she came to make me come. Which is good, but the timing is selfish.
"we go out?"
"why?"
"we go for coffee..."
"but I have exams."
"you look sad, you are sad you need to be happy."
"but I have exams,"
"come on, loosen up"
She asks me to join her in the shower, but I dont, I need the energy to read. It's already lunch time. Exams are around the corner, every minute counts. And she is wasting my minutes.
She decides it's her treat, so we go walking in town, she tells me she is taking me to some place new...I want to give up. I want to snap. I want to be angry at her.
"...why aren't you walking."
"you refuse to tell me where we are going,... we have been walking round and round for half an hour"
"you can't just stand in the middle of the streets."
She pulls my arms. I stand my ground.
"tell me where we are going, am not leaving until you tell me."
"please lower your voice..."
I want to tell her, she is a selfish little bitch, she wants what she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it with absolutely no regards for my interest. She looks around, and points at a hotel.
"Royal court?"
"ye--- yes?"
"that was random..."
"no, we going there,"
So we walk in, the guards search me a second time cause of the drama I was causing on the road. They stop searching when they see my phone. But you can't tell a watchman akona ubaguzi. But he can tell you that. It's acceptable.
"we seat at the bar?"
"cool"
I love the view from up there. The windows. The dinning room has wine glasses set, knives forks and all else. The view is in the sky, so it's so beautiful and blue. The pool. Rooftop bliss. Even the television sounded nice there. And it was tuned to KBC.
I thought she was happy cause finally she was using my credit card. What I didn't know was actually, she was happy that I was finally happy. What I didn't know that when she came to my place and found me sad, she decided I was stressed by my books, she wasn't being selfish, all she was doing was trying to distract me from my being stressed.
Anyways, I know that now, I didn't know it then.
"cappuccino?"
"yes,"
"two cappuccino please."
"can we have it with cake?"
"it comes with cake,"
"are you serious?"
The waiter didn't reply, cause waiters there are snobs, I left a tip for a hundred and something bob, and he still didn't smile. I guess it's the culture. I love the place though.
"am glad you are happy"
She said. I was glad she was. But I wished she took care of my interest to. She didn't tell me how I was feeling, she thought what was good for me would be to be away from books, I thought what was good for me was to be with books. But since we don't communicate, we screw up.
"excuse me, let me go to the ladies..."
"cool"
She spends around fifteen minutes. I don't know where she went but when she came back. She was smelled like a guy. Where did she get guys perfume? Oh. I know must be a quickie.
"bill?"
"but am not yet done,"
"I need to go back home."
"leta bill tu..."
The waiter left us arguing. How could she pretend she didn't know what she had done. And she tried to hold my hand. Yeah. I wasn't friendly as you guessed.
We forget experiences, that's what I think, we forget that we went out with a girl who turned us into wing men, coming back smelling of guy. Women get mad when they get into an argument with you in the street. But we forget all these happenings, but our heart seems to remember them as emotion.
Thats why when I look at her now, I feel like I hate her, she feels like she hates me. I wish I asked her what was the reason for her keeping me distracted from my studying, probably I would have told her, honey, am sad am reading for my exams, but am happy you have my interest at heart only that my interest is to read right now. It is not to be happy.
I forgot about the guys perfume on her. But my heart is supposed to protect me when my mind forgets. So what happens is I just feel like I hate her, so I keep off. And if I asked her? Hey?
"why do you all of a sudden smell like a guy?"
"ah you noticed."
"why?"
"some chics like wearing masculine deodorants,"
Maybe we would be together just maybe if we talked and not made horrible assumptions. Forgot those horrid assumptions in our minds but our hearts remembers them, and they come to us as negative feelings. Maybe.
