Everyone gives their hearts, souls, bodies, mind and life to something. It's human I guess. You can give yourself to happiness. Which means whenever you are faced by options everyday, you will choose the one that makes you happy. You might even go all the way date someone who wears lipstick on her nose so that it is red and she can make you laugh like a clown does.
We all give ourselves to something, or at least a part of ourselves. If you choose not to make a decision to what to give yourself up to, you have chosen to choose not to care. It's a good life.
I spent my childhood wondering why the hell I was on earth, so please don't try compare yourself to me. Yes, I missed banyo. But it's not that bad. I spent time with Nickelodeon and FTV; was my x-rated guilty pleasure. You know sometimes the bosom shows on those runways.
"why are we here?"
You can imagine how shocked the looks on older peoples' faces where when I asked that. I used to wink at my teachers before I knew what winking meant, especially the English teacher, she was something, and I promise you it destabilized them. I found football very useless, cause I simply didn't understand for what reason one would chase a round leather bag full of air trying to get it through two posts. For what? What purpose. Now I know better?
So I chose women, cause they kind of made me feel, I don't know. And since people gave me really shallow answers about why they are on earth, I went searching. Where?
Internet. Yeah, internet, I joined Facebook in 1956 by the way! No, really, I went searching in books. I went through books and books, I got psychology books, I loved them more cause they were more sensible than my science book. I used to ask myself, so now that I know how a flower grows, so what? Photosynthesis, so what?
But then as I read psychology, and such things as sociology, it made sense. I could read some stuff, then look at it in real life.
...so, a man without his basic needs is most likely going to dedicate part of his life to getting the basic needs, food, shelter, clothing, blogs (hehe) and after they get these, they want stuff like love. So you can't love with an empty stomach?
That stuff made sense to me. Then I found these book, which simplified religion for me and life generally, Purpose Driven Life. It was a best seller. The guy actually came to my school in high school, I almost cried when I saw him. As in the guy who wrote the book that simplified everything for me. I had read the book about a hundred times, it just gave me direction. He told us to never forget one thing...
"Never stop learning..."
"never believe you know everything..."
And something else I forget but I practice. It's amazing how you learn so much, then you come back down to the basics. The best way to live is, to smile a little, to love a little, to pray a little, to laugh a little, to party much? To party as hard as you work, not cause you need to cause you have everything; but cause it keeps you alive, so I went looking for the perfect life to live, and I came back to living a normal life, but with much greater understanding of it.
Ask me why family is there? Ask me why a little humor is good? I have studied humor. Oh aren't I impossible. You better grab a gun if you cracked a joke and everyone but me laughs, I would explain to you the parts of your joke. No one likes their jokes explained, cause they are just that, a joke...
Haya, this is the punch line, this is the surprise part, this joke is funny cause it just so real. And we kind of laugh when people tell us real things, how we react when we are in jam and stuff like that. Or when we just joke, as in the word itself, simply not serious. Seriously Bobby? Yes seriously.
I decided giving my time and my life to one thing was shallow, so I decided to give it to a couple of things, love, family, friends, philanthropy, nice cars, big houses, small acts of kindness, understanding the world, squeezing hot women, seafood, trying to create knowledge as well as the mastery of it, such stuff. Stuff life is made of.
You wouldn't survive in my mind. I can tell cause when I start to talk my thoughts run wild.
"that chic has such a good reputation."
"who?"
"she is a politician..."
"so what's a good reputation?"
I ask the people am talking to, and everyone looks at me like am covered in mud (pun intended). A good reputation is just that they say. I don't believe it's just that cause, a good reputation requires there be 'people' who are supposed to perceive you as of good reputation.
How would you have a good reputation if you were in an island alone? Flowers and trees are the ones to perceive you as of good reputation? Come on, they only eat as in make their own food, they photosynthesize those flowers! They can't hold you in good reputation, kazi yao niku kuka tu. And people around me start getting irritated, am taking the discussion to the sea and they are on land.
But they are my pals so I push cause as irritated as they get I know they can condone my nonsense.
I believe for there to exist a good reputation you have to have people, the larger the number the better. Let's say the whole country knew your name. Let's start with that.
Then after they know you they have to know you for something. What do they know you for? Good reputation? Good is too broad a term. A lot can be good, good is good, kindnesses is good, bad can be good to some people. You know about hot messes?
"as in a good reputation people perceive you positively."
I promise you they were looking to the floor for stones to stone me with, but I can't stop, cause there are no stones within there reach.
You do realize that people are different, you could have one person and people like them for entirely different reasons. You could have one person who people look up to and people look up to them for the same reason. Ask people what they like about a politician? See how many different answers you get for the same politician.
"okay, okay bob, let's imagine everyone has the same opinion of a politician, let's say they like her cause she has their interest at heart."
Okay, let's assume that everyone in the country knew her name, then let's imagine everyone believed she had their interest at heart, and that's where she gets her good reputation from, what is it's use to her? Reputation can persuade, it can be your ambassador, but is that what she wants a good reputation for? How useful is a good reputation good for her?
"you guy come on!"
I can see them play with the remote, turn the volume up and down slowly. No one wants to talk, the one who is talking is talking to me cause her emotions are arosed. Imagine a sufuria of boiling water. Some people leave arguments, some leave by zoning out and watching the television and most of the time they don't notice they are doing this. I still have one person fighting with me, and am happy, so I keep on. Take it as far as I can.
"people look up to her."
What if she doesn't know people look up to her? You can be beautiful, but if everyday someone told you you are the ugliest person in the world, you would believe that. Wouldn't you?
"no, am beautiful!"
Yes, you are. So many people are beautiful but they don't believe they are.
"what does all this have to do with reputation?"
"am just saying there is no one answer for everything."
There are so many variables in real life situations, it's not a book, life, car breaks work perfectly well in a physics book, but when you come to real life situations, there is oil on the road, there is rain. But I could be wrong about so many things, I don't believe anyone is right, but I believe it is best to try to be more right than everyone else; those are the ones that make it. Those that try a little more than everyone else are the ones who form societies cream.
"but there are some people who haven't gone to school?"
Has anyone ever taught you how to flirt? Did you have to go to school to learn how to flirt? You wore a short skirt once and you got hit on. You don't have to think about touching your hair to get a guy to notice it when you are flirting with him. You don't have to be told that someone is not in the mood to talk to you, you don't have to think it. Your heart tells you. You just stop talking.
She had turned her head and was now watching the television. My voice went quiet.
Do you think you can survive having to process all that as you talk? Notice why someone is touching her hair, someone is touching her phone for you to notice it, turning up the volume, as you still listen to what they are saying attentively. Do you think you can rationalize such many things all in a second? Is it a curse? I don't want to call it that, but it's torture, but sweet torture; living a fabulously miserable life? And I think that's what is going to make me great.
I know what I want to do, I want to wear a nice black suit, cause it's powerful. Dark suits aren't powerful cause dark suits are powerful, dark suits are powerful cause powerful people wear black suits, so when you see a well-fitting black suit you don't need to treat the guy with a little more keenness. You just do.
In other cultures, if you wore a gold watch, thousands of chains around you neck, they will know you are a powerful man. But here? I don't know. I don't think so, they like combed hair and shit like that.
I want to be in a black suit, I have given my life to that, I have given my life to getting people justice, I am ready to seat in an office, probably with large windows, definitely with large windows, spacious office, natural light, at night I want to see street lights. I want to sleep in the office. When I lack inspiration I count the city lights or the shooting stars or count sheep if am in Mombasa town, I promise you I have seen sheep in CBD in Mombasa. Huku raha tele, mpaka mbuzi watembea town usiku, waenda clubs.
I want my girlfriend to drop by at midnight with something for me to eat as i seat in my office past midnight. I hope she gives me a little bang bang to get me all fired up. I want to wear proper silk ties, natural silk. I don't want everyone to know it's value, I want only a few to realize how good it is like painting. And I will bang those chics that recognize it.
And I will make sure I spend my life getting my hands dirty, I don't think I will be able to sleep if I got outsmarted by some other lawyer and therefore my client ended up getting half what should be his.
I know how to live, it's in my blackberry, don't forget to text your friends, don't forget to blog, don't forget to pray, don't forget to eat, don't forget to go to the library, don't forget to go out enjoy yourself, don't forget to balance. Keep it normal, but better than average always.
If I lost my blackberry, if I lost my toDo list, which has a reminder to remind me to eat. If I lost my BB, I might die like an old Dina the dinosaur starving trying to study and research on why when you are so real about who you are, people are fascinated and see it as personality.
