Dames and sirs, that title. I love it. It speaks volumes. Miss Understood. Look at it, enjoy the revelation of it in this post. Genesis is the beginning.
Shall we begin...
Therapist: why are you here?
Her: cause I want to be fixed
Therapist: what makes you think you have problem?
Her: numbers
Therapist: what number
Her: the number of people I have had sex with
Therapist: how many are they?
Her: silence
Therapist: why do you think your numbers are not good?
Her: cause I believe in one girl on boy
Therapist: what is a healthy sexual relationship to you?
Her: a couple have sex
Therapist: would you like that?
Her: yes, very much. In fact that's why am here.
Therapist: what do you intend to achieve once you are done here
Her: I want to have a healthy sexual relationship with one person, arent you listening.
Therapist: ok. Why can't you just have one sexual partner?
Her: it feels better having many.
Therapist: better than a healthy sexual relationship?
Her: I... I... I don't know.
Therapist: do you have a healthy sexual relationship?
Her: I dnt want to answer that.
Therapist: you said you want to have a healthy sexual relationship, but you like having multiple partners, I want you to know you can trust me. Okay?
Her: okay
Therapist: that we can work together to help you.
Her: okay.
Therapist: that we have to work together to solve...
her: come on, I already get it, just cut to the chase and fix this
Therapist: are you in a hurry?
Her: yes.
Therapist: why are you in a hurry?
Her: cause I am meeting Bobby
Therapist: who is Nobby?
Her: someone I like
Therapist: why don't you just leave now that you in a hurry
her: cause it doesn't make sense, I am here for him
Therapist: so you want to have a healthy sexual relationship with him
her: maybe...
Therapist: why can't you just do it on your own, why did you need to come here.
Her: dammit. You're the doctor, you tell me.
Therapist: why are you getting angry.
Her: ...come on, get on with it already doc.
Therapist: I see you have something you want to say
Her: yes, I want to know why I am this way... I love someone and yet I want to sleep with someone else, other people.
Therapist: what excites you about this people you want to sleep with?
Her: they are good looking
Therapist: just the fact that they are good looking...
Her: yeah, don't other people do that too... Get attracted to good looking people.
Therapist: what if they aren't good looking. What will you do?
Her: find a good looking one.
Therapist: so it's about the sex more than the person, you know if you don't like this one you move on...
Her: I guess..
Her: but how is it about the sex than it is the person if I have to look for a good looking one?
Therapist: you told me you have someone you love right?
Her: yes,
Therapist: you are attracted to him?
Her: yes. He is so...
Therapist: you see even when you are attracted to one person, it seems to me that you keep on looking for another person, and specifically a good looking person.
Therapist: when did it start?
Her: i can't remember
Therapist: most of these things have their root in childhood?
Her: ok
Therapist: should I hypnotize you?
Her: hell no.
Therapist: do you like being in control?
Her: what does that have to do with anything, you know am in a hurry right?
Therapist: I think you like being in control maybe that's the reason why you are so apprehensive about hypnosis. I think you like to be in control cause when you mentioned sex, you don't see it as something that just happens, it's something you look for, i think when you have sex, it's a conquest to you, that proves to you are attractive. You have intertwined attraction with sex, so one cannot exist without the other. You might love someone, but even as you love that person, you want constant compliments you are attractive, and those compliments are the numbers from your sexual conquest.
Her: now doc, I see the reason for this. Now you sound like a professional, all theoretical. But that is not entirely true.
Therapist: what is it then?
Her: never mind. Now, fix me...
Therapist: I have to find out what the root of this belief and...
Her: come on, I told you am late. How long will this take?
Therapist: probably months...
Her: months? Really? Am leaving...
Her: so what do you suggest I do for now?
Therapist: I want you to talk about it with this guy you are going to see. You trust him right?
Her: yes. But that is ridiculous... I cannot... I cannot tell him...
Therapist: why?
Her: don't want to look troubled that's not attractive, okay in small amount it is, but when it is too much it is not.
Therapist: attractive?
Her: am leaving.
Therapist: see you next week, I think we have made some progress.
Her: thanks doc.
Therapist: don't forget your phone.
Her: thanks again, bye.
Me: hi doc
Therapist: hi Bobby
Me: that's very bright of you. The chairs, the flowers, the aroma, the big windows, the homely lay out... It's very relaxing.
Therapist: thank you. You know your surrounding very well.
Me: it's something my mind always rashes to do
Therapist: why do you think you mind does that?
Me: aren't we supposed to be discussing sex?
Therapist: yes, we are but we can talk about other things to, usually they have a connection. Do you want to talk about other things?
Me: I guess, if we don't go too much out of topic.
Therapist: why do you feel you have to know your surrounding?
Me: it just happens
Therapist: can you stop?
Me: why would I want to stop?
Therapist: why wouldn't you want to stop.
Me: I like to know what and who I am dealing with.
Therapist: so your looking at my office layout is what made you believe that I am a professional and not the title 'Dr' that comes before my name?
Me: I have never looked at it that way... I guess.
Therapist: I think you have trust issues.
Me: that's such a cliche doc, everyone has trust issues.
Therapist: yes, but not everyone notices the details of an office like the way you have...
Me: doc, sex. We talking about sex...
Therapist: we have to talk about other things too.
Therapist: why are you in such a hurry?
Me: I am seeing someone in an hour and there is jam
Therapist: is this person more important than this?
Me: don't be ridiculous please, no offense though...
Therapist: why do you think am being ridiculous
Me: I didn't mean it that way...
Therapist: how did you mean it?
Me: come on, let's leave beating around the bush. Let's talk about sex, that's the reason am here, or I leave?
Therapist: do you always leave when you don't get what you want?
Me: yes, in fact it is very good you have pointed that out. Am not wasting my time here anymore.
Therapist: why are you speaking like that?
Me: I thought this is a comfortable place I can speak how I want to, doc, is it not?
Therapist: so you are testing me?
Me: get to the point doc. Someone is waiting for me.
Therapist: we have to...
Me: this has been nice doc. But bye
And I arrived first. It was an awesome restaurant, the tables were black, marble? They have incredible food, though they spice it too much, which I don't find very impressive. Who am i to judge, those who try to murder their taste buds with taste? Half of the things on their menu, mostly pasta you cannot pronounce. Have you done French? That's why am doing French, that and for France sake later on. I called her and asked her how far she was. She was fifteen minutes away.
The restaurant was more of a patio than anything else. It was quite pricey but to tell you the truth I really thought she would love the ice cream sundae. They were large, other places don't often serve icecream with a whole lot of stuff added on it... Here, they always had it smeared with chocolate syrup or strawberry syrup. Or chocolate sprinkles, banana a cherry on top, a grape, and waffles, yes the ones you take as plain biscuits. They are ice creams accessory you know.
I had ordered myself something I can't remember what, and I had ordered food for her. In fifteen minutes seated at a table you can even read a Chinese menu. Yes you can. That's a lot of time. I saw her from a distance, she looked lovely. I stood up, went to get her, and planted such a serious hug on her, her nipples must have felt braless.
I pulled back the seat for her, she sat down, placed her hand bag on the table and held it, not a good sign. In my mind I remember screaming, leave the hand bag, alone, please leave it. I like this place!
"I grew an extra beard just seated her waiting for you..."
She didn't find that funny. Shoot and I had already ordered food. She didn't leave the hand bag. She was not yet at ease.
I could see her look around, her eyes wondering around the place shifty, not in a calm way.
It had to be the restaurant I was sure it wasn't me, I took her to too an elaborate place too fast. No one wants something too elaborate on a first day, she wanted casual. Everyone wants casual. And I felt awful, it was going to be a bad date.
"so, I have ordered something for you already, hope you will like it..."
She left her bag, she placed it on the seat next to her. I felt a slight glow. When a girl stops holding her bag, she wants to stay, or she is at ease. I felt a light glow.
She then placed her hand over her breasts, as if to hide them. Bad news. She brought her legs under her seat, and I knew there was no way this was going to be a good date. I was talking but she could hardly hear what I was saying. Take me to an asylum, a mad man talking to himself, thinking he is to a girl. She repeated my words, but it was so mechanical, she didn't talk, it was a monologue. And she was so stiff and uncomfortable a bird could have landed on her head, thinking she was a gagoyle.
Was it my bad that she was in jeans? Should I have told her where we were going? But other people were in jeans, very short jeans skirts actually, okay maybe most were in dresses, was that what made her feel comfortable. Five minutes and she hadn't touched her food, and the food was nice. You could even eat its aroma. That's what you get for paying a fortune for food, attention to detail.
"should we pack and go eat somewhere else?"
"oh yes, yes, yes!"
It's like she was dying to hear that. If this were a movie and my words were a bocay of wedding flowers, and these flowers were thrown by the bride to the brides mates to catch. This damsel would have literally grown wings like angels have, she would have taken off like a jet, and grabbed the flowers like a hungry dog in a crowd grabs a bone in the air before it lands. None of the other bride mates would have a chance. She almost said oh yes, yes, yes before I had completed saying... Should we pack the food and...
"waiter, I think we will carry this, please wrap it up thank you."
I wish I had an electric key. As in I put in a password and the door opens. Now, that would have been lovely. There is always that awkward moment when you are at the door with a damsel and you are trying to open your door, and it takes time. It kind of gives you time to think, that stupid non electric door. What are you doing Bobby? Why are you bringing this dame to your place? I shut the voices of my door. I opened it.
She walked in, almost dropped her bag at the entrance. She was comfortable at her first step.
You know, once, in a book, it must have been a behaviorist book or something, don't question my reading habits. Let's just say my mind is fire and when there is petrol vapor, leave alone the actual fluid, just petrol vapor, the vapor...
As I consumed the book I came across something thoroughly fascinating. An aha moment. (I just made that up, the aha not the book, no one can make up a whole book, if you can write one) this book wasn't made up cause it was fact. Walk into a club, find a dame, in the magic of your words, the best thing you could do is convince her to go to another club with you alone, and in the next club I promise you she will hold your hand tight, why? Cause in the club before she had her friends, in the new one everyone is a stranger except you, then visit like three four clubs and she will be good to go!
We moved from the restaurant, where she was as uncomfortable as fuck without a hard on. Now she was at my place, she was overly comfortable. It was my place, she had never been here before but she was walking around opening doors like my apartment was on the market and she was planning to move in.
'I wouldn't mind getting fucked here by the way, this is lovely. I love the kitchen, it's so big, and has everything, I love the way even the dustbin matches with the kettle and the fridge and microwave, grey chrome and shiny. And the windows, oh my, the palm trees outside, if we slept here for the night, if I slept here for the nights, maybe weekends, mostly weekends, I would wake up to the sunrise. Has he placed the bed facing the windows intentionally? Has he? I bet he has, he is very intentional, that's why he noticed I was uncomfortable at the restaurant? Is he? Or am I just seeing my own things. I have to be ready... I hope my therapist works on me in a hurry, cause he is different, and I have to give him different, he is not a number, just like the rest are, she should not be a number...
"so should I serve you?"
"yes please..."
She followed me to the kitchen.
"by the way sorry, I can get a little snoopy, but I guess I get a free pass cause am beautiful, attractive you know..."
"don't be funny! Haha"
And in my head I was thinking, wow, she is finally talking. She is walking around, her hands are not on her boobs, she doesn't even know in what room she left her hand bag. We are going to have sex today. She will give me everything I want, and I will love it.
"should we eat here or the sitting room?"
"here is good."
And the food tasted lovelier in the kitchen. We sat on the bar stools, and I am glad I had them, cause then I could see her seated, and see what she sat with, and her thighs, her cheeks were full, and unlike the restaurant, she smiled often here, I didn't have time to talk, she was doing all the talking, and she was seriously curious about me. What do I do? Who do I live with? In what town are my folks? Who do I live with? What is my favorite food? Who do I live with?
Food was over. The Telly was on, I put something sublimely erotic, I needed her in the mood. We left the plates and glasses on the table, then left the tv on, we got onto the bed, but we still had everything on. It was time to turn her on.
I remember looking at her, she was in a red top. It was bare on the back, it just had string, it must have been the best top she had, cause it looked lovely. That top, you didn't wear with bras. Am not on fashion police but I know it's tacky to have you bra cross your back wearing such a top. She was on my bed, she was on my freakin bed. Oh yes.
I was going to get what I want. I was going to get it bad. Yes. And once I got it, I would get it again and again. Cause relax be patient, once you get it, you will always get it from him or her again whenever you want. And I looked out of the window, I looked at her. I knew I would want her here on weekends mostly. I knew I would want to let my hands run through every inch of her jeans, from the hills as bold as watermelons, to the valleys as deep as a condom. What I didn't know was that she wished for the same...
She looked at me, she was touching my eyebrows, and my hair and I was facing the ceiling, she was seated. She smiled as she thought...
'I know am sexy, I know he finds me sexy, I know he could make me happy, he knows when am uncomfortable, he knows when am happy, he opens doors for me, and serves me drinks, he has taken his time, he texts easily even though he doesn't pick my phone often, but he can't be a number, he can't be just another man I screw so that I feel better about myself, so that I feel yes, I can have him, am hot!'
And sleeping on her lap, looking up at her I was seeing her boobs. Sometimes she would bend and they would mash my face. Oh they were the perfect size. I could pour things on them... Oh yes I could, and would, they would almost think they were plants and start growing, and even so, they were the perfect size. She was here, she liked me, I liked her, she was hot yes, but even more than that our conversations were easy, I couldn't leave my phone since I got her number. They had laughter, sometimes she initiated it, sometimes I did, and when you laugh you are in a small trance, and you brighten up, I had brightened up lately, oh yes I had, she had laughter, and now I was ginally getting what I wanted... We were on my bed, weren't we?
I pushed her flat on the bed all at once.
You know the urgency.
Did I tell you she wore a red top that demanded it shouldn't be worn with a bra? Her boob fell off. The one on her right. It was round, it looked at me, and before I could kiss it for making an appearance, she took it back under her top.
We kissed, and as we kissed I thought first about how her lips tasted, then I started letting my hands wonder. And my heart said, on your marks, get set, go!
I kissed her and started thinking, if this ass is this full, how beautiful would it be, her on the bed on Saturday morning completely naked with the windows open, fresh air running in and the curtains wide in this big room. How would it feel to watch her back arch, her head on the pillow, my hands holding her by her waist, her booty sticking out to me, and her hand swimming in the air trying to find mine? I would let it look for me, as she drew herself into a perfect bend, think number, then think number 7. And when I held one of her hands, I would hold her booty with the other and we would try to break the bed together.
If it happened now, I thought as I kissed her and as I got more daring touching her. If it happened now, it will happen again. That's what I wanted. Sometimes you just look at someone, you just suck their lips and you know you would want her with you most of the time, like addictive bliss.
And I thought up to a time in the future when she will have slept on my bed so often it would have been normal, normal for us to wake up to open windows and open curtains, fresh air and fresh sunrise immediately break in a bang before we broke for breakfast. Our eyes would clear up from their blur as we came together. Talk about knowing a good day from its start.
We would have hang out so many times together she would set the channels on the radio and tv on Autotune for the channels she liked. She would almost give me suggestions on where to hang what and which... And even though we wouldn't be serious, our lives will be better. And on Facebook she would update her status less, and I too will update less, not to stop updating but just not too frequently. She will turn her lipstick from deep red to a lighter color, shop less for clothes but still maintain shopping for shoes cause she is finally happy. Even if she searches for Romeo and I am not him, she will not search as vigorously. Why?
Cause I am kissing her and I see where this will be months from now. We have never had sex but here she is, in her blue jeans and her red top breathing harder. She has kicked off her shoes carelessly and placed herself better on the bed. Am about to have her.
"This is the beginning of a great semester..."
I said.
She paused for a second. I was starting to undress her or undress me.
She drew a fist with her hand, her body became still, she opened her eyes, she didn't drink air as she was before, in small fast amounts, she took one deep breath and exhaled loudly and slowly and not from her mouth.
Oh shoot. Oh shoot. I went on thinking it was something I had said or done.
'numbers, he is not just a number, I must fix myself, that therapist must fix me. Tell him, tell him... The doctor told me to share with someone like this guy, I don't want to lie to him, and I don't want to tell him, why, I will just do it, I know it might ruin, but I just have to do what I have to do...' she thought.
"I have to go!"
She just stood up and left.
I was still very hard.
I had not got what I wanted. She had not given me what I wanted. She cannot be trusted. I thought she liked me, why did she suddenly leave without an explanation?
I had not got what I wanted. She had not given me what I wanted. I wasn't going to waste my time with her.
