It's not an accident you are here, at this time in your life you were meant to be here. And at this very time I am required to tell you something about yourself. Yes you. Every time something bad happens to you you are meant to forget about it. But instead of doing that you keep playing the same horrifying event in your mind. It makes you sad. How much more of that can you take?
What makes you happy instead? Every time you play events in your life that you loved. So that they are on replay for a whole day, at the end of that day you end up happier. Why? Cause you don't have a photographic memory. If you had one you would remember all the pain like it was yesterday. Do you think you would survive? You might cry all the life out of you.
So, instead of a photographic memory what were you given? The power to decide what sticks in your mind. How do you decide what sticks in your mind? Repetition? Ever heard of revising notes make a good student. Same for your emotional health, if you revise, repeat or replay the things that make you happy in your mind continuously, you will become a happy person. And just like notes you don't revise you forget, painful experiences you don't replay in your mind you forget.
Told you you weren't here by accident. I know sometime all you want to do is quit. I understand how it feels to have to wait for so long only to find that the person you were waiting on doesn't get you. You cant work with them. You spend so much time looking for someone to fit what you want but after you have invested your all in them you find out they fall short, they aren't what you wanted. And it becomes a chain of occurrences. Here you are again, going through the same cycle.
Why can't you just open your eyes baby. Baby, am talking to you. Stop and think. Yes. Am talking to you. This paragraph is on it's own so that you see the seriousness of my saying am talking to you.
Why can't you open your eyes baby, you hate Monday mornings but you don't realize I am the solution. You hate cold nights and you can't see that am the solution. You want someone to respect you enough to not drag your name in the mud yet you don't see that it is me you are looking for. Every time you make the same mistake, you look out there instead of looking at me, and every single time I watch you come out of it worse than you went in.
Now look at what he did to you, you say you don't care what people think of you, but by the fact you say you don't care what people think of you is evidence you have thought about what people think of you. If you truly didn't care then you wouldn't mention that you didn't really care.
You do care that when the people who got to know what you were up to still hug you but their smiles are fake. They smile so that their mouth is shaped like a 'u' for a second but for that microsecond it turns into a 'n'. You never notice but your heart feels it. And slowly people start to alienate you or you them. It's natural to leave fake smiles.
But how could you have known you were making a bad decision? How could you? You needed something. At the heat of the moment opportunity raised, and you thought hey let me treat myself a little. You treated yourself to an illusion, someone you didn't know.
And now am here, asking you? Why don't you be wise for once about how you do your things? You are a girl, by now you must understand as much as we are equal your standards are higher than guys. You must know how to do your things. You can't do them like a guy, men that do their things like girls are looked down upon. They lose.
It's never too late to turn tables, I understand things are about to get really messed up, cause with who you are right now you can see him taking your name down to bring his up. I wouldn't do that to you. I know songs play late at night as you play with your phone with frustrating hope. I know everyone who wants a chance is everyone who you don't want to give a chance. And you can't bluntly ask cause when a hint is rejected we have this illusion that it hurts less cause that other person doesn't know you were hinting. But it's as good as a bold move anyways, but why make things hard. It's easier to hint.
I wish we would be together baby, cause you know with me we enjoy ourselves more than we fight. If we were to let things just be, probably, we would fight more than anything else. But we understand love cause ours is real. When you are in love you find yourself enjoying the other person more than anything else.
And when you are at a bad place it is because you fail to ignore the non-issues. As in, when she leaves a tea bag on the fridge, instead of you just picking it up and throwing it in the dustbin so that you can head to bang bang bang.
You decide to make it an issue. You start talking about it, till you fight. And you have no room for anything else. How do you expect you will go on fighting and doing nothing else? Didn't I tell you at the beginning of this that it is very natural to repeat a good experience rather than a bad one? do you want to build issues or other things? You know everything you talk about becomes an issue? Do you really have to mention it?
And when you like someone, you laugh more than you cry with them the one time you fuck up it's okay. Cause it is natural for us to defend those we like than those we don't?
I told you I was the one who is going to satisfy you today. But you rather go look for someone else in the cold leave me here. But you are doing disservice to yourself. I get you. You don't need to teach me you. I get you. It's time you took a proper chance with me baby.
And I am glad you have. Don't blame yourself for the past, cause you didn't know me in the past. Now you know me, you have me.
