I like to believe that I cannot be influenced, that birds of a feather don't flock together. But i know am perfectly wrong, am like the people I hang out with, and you are like the people who hang out with.
No?
Believe me.
This blog you read, the number of hours you spend on it, it influences you. Trust me it does, it starts with your mind, then your actions, like suggestions, then it shapes your your behavior. And I really hope I haven't turned anyone into any thing but an angel... Sijui ever-horny... heart breaking... bad person...
I am sorry for anyone I have made feel inferior, we are all equal, we are all human being, we all go back to dust, doctors, lawyers, toilet cleaners, we all go back to dust. So even though we made you feel bad, like you weren't hot enough, pretty enough, smart enough am sorry.
I just adopted to how I grew up. That's why I am so screwed up. I had someone do work for me, okay, I have had lots of people do work for me, and you know what I have done. I have just refused to pay them. Why?
Cause the whole point of business as we know is to oppress, make people work for you, under pay them, get more profit. Build an empire, drive sleek cars, carry posh designer bags, in an aim to make yourself feel better than others.
"nice bag..."
"thank you."
And I feel good for a second, but then it just seats there in my room, I don't even need it. Am not saying its bad.
But, hey, the rewards you get from having nice things never compare to the feeling you get when you really help someone.
I know, I could always say I got influenced, I was born and the people around me spread there ideas to me, I grew up knowing, I have to be king, the music I listen to tells me, you got to be a paper-chaser. The news you watch, the movies I watch are centered on devising the best pyramid schemes of accumulating everything and leaving everyone with nothing.
There was a girl once... She was on my bed. She told me...
"Our boss called us to the office, we are five employees."
And then...
"he asked us to give 20% of our salary to an end year party..."
And then...
"he asked anyone who opposed to raise there hand."
"why didn't you raise yours? They are already under paying you!"
She said because she would be asked to explain why she didn't give up her salary, and her voice becomes small when she talks in public, she was too afraid to talk.
I could tell, she was the only one whose salary was reduced. And she couldn't oppose, why? Cause she just couldn't. It might look like something trivial to you, but imagine some people would rather starve rather than shout make noise. Just cause you are strong, don't think everyone is strong, don't trivialize people's fears, there weakness.
If it were me, imagine I would cause a scene. Come on, how dare he! But that's the thing, we all grow up differently. By the time I was in nursery school teachers used to call me a doctor, I had my hair combed for me, my shoes brushed, and that went on until, forever. Till I could do it myself but they still went on doing that for me.
I shout at people, I feel entitled, you know how pathetic I look in other peoples eyes. There is this guy who washes the car I drive, he is an old guy. I have always wondered why he gives me that eye when I drive away from the gate and he is seated there.
Thinking about it, I think he thinks, such an arrogant little idiot. Next time I promise I will not call him, I will not seat there wait for him to rush to me, I am the young one, he is old enough to be someone's father. Whether he cleans the loos or washes the dogs, he deserves my respect, cause am a filthy little brat. Walking around with an air of entitlement. Entitled to what, I will die one day, I will be dust. And at the end of times, what will count is the good deeds I have done, plus who I believe in.
..am not that, am being hard on myself intentionally, so that you can see that most of us think just up to where our noses are.
I don't think capitalism is bad, I don't think wanting nice things is bad. But from what I have read, the more luxuries you love (those rap songs are not helping) No you think they don't influence? Where did you learn about Gucci and Bentleys, come on!
It's a balance, and I hope I balance. If am going to build myself an empire, I must build it as I build the people who help me build it, no constant salaries where I work, commissions all the way. It's ridiculous, it maybe even unproductive, but it's time we challenged all this hog-wash that has been put in our heads.
These hog-wash --> if you ain't got money take your broke us home! If it ain't about the paper, I can't hear you!
Come on? Have we become this stupid? We are people, as in. How do you think people feel when you make them feel like sh? How do you benefit? You hurting people! Bring your broke us here, let's party! We humans, if you not talking about paper, talk to me about having no paper, it has to be adventurous, the hustle and all.
Bobby, you are hurting people, how do you just not talk to her cause she isn't beautiful? How do you give out your boxers for washing? Can't you just have the dignity to put them in the machine yourself? Why do you just leave used rubber with come on the floor? You expect them to pick it? Why do I just decide to shout at that waiter?
No Bobby, you not a kid anymore, you can't just walk around picking people's toys, just cause the people you call friends have grown up learning that greed is good.
That's why on Sunday, Bobby will go to church, cause that's the place where pathetic people like him need to be, with idiot superiority complexes, there are blind people, they are sick people, people have tooth aches, they can't help themselves. People are being sued, and they have no one to defend them, and Bobby just wants Bentleys, really... I got to move on.
I have to go to church, seat on those pews, day dream a couple of prayers, hope Heaven gives me the perfect balance, when to build things for myself, and my children to come, and when to take time off, go keep a blind man company, teach a lame man how to play Play Station. Show a child how to read, defend a lorry driver who hit a Mercedes but couldn't get a lawyer good enough to make the judge see he was on the right.
I got to go seat on those pews, just to seat, even though I will not actively listen cause I have too much on my mind, I will passively listen. Cause trust me, there are people I have wronged, there are people we have oppressed. And they are sweating to Heaven that there oppressors burn for the wrong things they have done to them. I need to be an angel, we need to be angels, angels in Bentleys. Hehe
Do you think you are stressed cause you think only about yourself. Do you think the moment you try to solve someone else's stress you will realize where true success is?
