"I love you Bobby..."
"I love you too..."
"I love you all, those that visit this space of mine on the net..."
"I love you all, those who have been with me since my first blog."
I love the way I hate the way the word Love is misused nowadays. Intense. I take you to Java, I take you to Galitos, I take you to coffee hut, we share ourselves, and cause you want to convince yourself you aren't lonely, or justify the fact that you did it too early, you utter those words. I love you. That's bull sheet.
I used to think love was the thing that I feel when am sipping a drink at the club, and I was looking around to see who is viable. I used to run through my phone book, wonder who I can call, we play a little One Tree Hill, remember the series? Everyone had it with everyone. F.W.B. I thought that was love, that could be love, but it's not. Now I know.
I know what love is now, love is not a smile forced. Love is being at a club with your friends when your girlfriend isn't there. Love is sitting there looking into space with a sadness in your eyes, a lack-of-care. You don't sip your beer pretending to be laughing so that everyone sees you are having a good night, love is not utterance of a fake scream when a nice song plays. Love is being full, when you have a lot you don't show it off, when you lack you show off.
I didn't stare at people, beautiful women on the dance floor in skirts and dresses that could throw you off your common senses. I looked at them like I didn't care, I actually didn't. And the surprising thing, that was when they notice me. Can you believe it! Men, women are so complicated.
Kind of like models, ever known why models don't smile? They sell more when they don't smile. Smiling at customers would make them not seem to-good-for-the customer. So, they get fined for smiling, they never smile, they stare at the camera like they don't even care, they are too good for everything and everyone. And it's at that moment that you take out a cheque and buy a suit instead of a car. I mean it, tailor-made shoes and all.
As I said, women! Just when I have a girlfriend, just when I seat down not eager, not interested, praying no one comes to disturb me saying hi and urging me to drink more, stand up and dance, urging me to have more fun, urging me to pretend, at that moment is when every damn girl is in your face. Dammit you.
But I would never trade anything for love, and the love I have now is love. Ask me, I know. You know it's love when she says...
"I think am getting the job..."
It's her job, but you want to leave in the middle of class go get drinks to celebrate. Celebrate whose success? Hers? Yes hers. That is love my friends.
Love is not a word you just throw about, love is something that changes you inside out. I could say I love you,
But when you call at 7am, just to say 'good morning' while I slept at 4am. That means you just cut me off from a good dream. I don't hang up on you. I listen. I want to tell you you are 'irritating me', which you are, but I can't just use those words, cause I know you have a heart. So I put it to you softly...
"Woiyee...babe I just started sleeping at 4 in the morning."
And she let's me sleep. But sometimes she doesn't, sometimes she demands to talk to me, women and talking!
And I listen in my half sleep, cause I know she is always there for me at night, when ghost come visiting my house. Yes, I have ghost in my house these days. I am about to start feeding them, get a bed for them even, every night am having nightmares. I have tried the typical...I resorted to listening to radio 3:16 fm, they seem to be scared off by that. And just to add to that, she calls me, she talks to me, until I fall asleep, and that my friends is love.
Love gets to that point where you trust the other with your fears and weaknesses. Sharing your strength and humor anyone can do, strangers at the bar, they can share strength and humor. But true love shares more, true love shares secrets, weaknesses, fears, you would catch me dead before you catch me walk up to a chic and am like.
"hi you, I have bipolar and diarrhea."
It's, always... Hi... Can I have your number... Or do you want my blog address, yes, I write really well... No for fun... Other time am a lawyer... Thanks for your number... But please take it back... I don't want it anymore...take your damn number back! Hehe they normally laugh. No?
Love is letting her know of your weakness, not too early, are you serious? Don't dare! Too early is never a good thing. Love is not jealousy, and if it is, it's much more laughter laughter than jealousy.
What do I mean? You can't expect to be building a relationship fighting...woth hate...jealousy... You can't just be all negative and expect your relationship will work out. Sometimes, you just have to click pause on the fighting turn on a romantic movie. Kiss a little, love a little, eat out a little, have some coffee a little. Okay I have got my tampon out. Man stuff. Next paragraph.
Preferably AA Blue Mountain, yes, Nakumatt and Tuskys have it. That coffee smells like Java. But, let's assume your wallet doesn't like the aroma of Blue Mountain, try sachets of MacCoffee Caramel, to down play the taste of Nescafe coffee sachets together. As in mix the MacCoffee Caramel with Nescafe. You have something nice. I love coffee, good coffee, not coffee that taste like over refined coffee. Instant coffee is not coffee, I repeat instant coffee is not coffee, instant coffee taste like metal to me, it doesn't smell like coffee fields up mount Kenya, fresh with mist, it tastes like Industrial smoke and metal.
So the next time you throw the words I love you, I hope you mean it. If you don't mean it, do yourself a favor and destroy what you have before it destroys you, cause all it is doing is telling that guy or girl you are eyeing, the one that you were meant to be with. The one who will let you do those things no other girl lets you.
"Sorry, am in a relationship...we cannot be! Am not available."
I am in love, and I hate to say that in public, it's been what four six months and I feel like I met her yesterday. Only that...
"Bobby, takes two sugars in his coffee..."
"My girl friend gets really annoying when she is drunk, so I might be leaving you guys anytime soon..."
It hits me, we have known each other for so long. I can't trade anything for...
"Bobby, takes two sugars in his coffee..." said his girlfriend.
I love you baby. And when I tell you guys I love you, I mean it, cause it's you I have been telling of my weakness since my first post sometime back in April 2011. Those that have gone through my every post, skipped some, read the most. I love you. You know I mean it...cause you have seen me through a lot.
To the rest.
Every time you say
"I love you"
To someone you don't love, you could as well tell your chance at happiness...
"Sorry, am in a relationship...we cannot be! Am not available."
