"hello"
"morning... Dear"
"you didn't even let the phone ring? You so eager..."
"ah leave me alone, am excited about today."
"women and valentines, so typical."
"sorry, what did you just say?"
"I said am really looking forward to going to the park with you today..."
"no you didn't, you said am so typical..."
"why are you asking me what I said if you heard me babe?"
"you better be out of bed before I get there!"
Line went dead.
For once, I was thoroughly excited I wasn't the one to get out of bed drive for two hours to see babe. It was her time, she would have to wake up at six in the morning, get ready drive for two hours in the morning when radio stations on the car stereo are boring, to see me. I made it a point to sleep really late, like at four, cause I knew I would be sleeping listening to radio on satellite the whole morning as she drove here to see me. I cuddled a nice one, took a deep breath, and let my eyes black out.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Wake up! Wake up... You going to represent me in a meeting in Nairobi?"
"seriously, when?"
"today... Open the door wake up you are late!"
But I heard plans, I wanted to go to the park, have wine, watch birds, lay a shuka on the floor and watch flamingoes and other birds. Yes, bird watching is strongly advertised now at the Game Parks, it's good culture to bird watch with nice cameras or have we porches everything? That's what I wanted to do, chill out at the lodges in the park, take a swim and have lunch overlooking lions and all, eat some exotic meat with cutlery made from shiny metal and napkins and side plates and wine glasses and a beautiful girl smiling at me telling me this was the best valentines. And after it, she was going to be so in the mood.
But what could I say. Sorry, can't attend your meeting, today is valentines and their is a dame I want to be with? It was as good as getting a shovel a casket, and taking a nap six feet under soil. So, valentine plans were in the trash bin, my eyes were sleepy, and I had a very difficult phone call to make. Baby, don't come, we can't do the park today, something came up, so find your own valentine plans.
I wasn't even left to shower in peace, cause I was late, I was so sleepy I almost slept in the bathroom. My shoes were cleaned for me, breakfast was parked, I was given all the support to be out of the house and in Nairobi as soon as possible, I was not to keep the minister waiting.
"You really want to use that car? It hasn't been serviced..."
I had no time for that, engine running, fuel gauge in the toilet. Seven in the morning, driving a car that might not make it to the petrol station without stalling on the way... If this day was to go as planned, I would be in bed, waiting for my dame, then sip wine and baileys at the park. But here I was, doing hours driving tired as hell.
I barely made it to the petrol station, I fueled, and that's when I noticed the wheel. How does one mash a rim? As in the alloy wheel rim had some serious dent on the side, yet the wheel was fully pressured.
In addition to fueling, I had to replace the bloody rim, can you imagine, thanks to some non-driving-licensed relative at home who tries out drifts, and burn outs and other stunts television tells us not to try at home. I should have been in bed, sleeping, waiting to wear shorts and an easy polo shirt, sandals, a camera, ice cubes in a thermos for the baileys under some tree at the park making out. And where was I, at the garage, trying to make sure the wheel changing doesn't soil my shirt cause am to attend a meeting...
Car got fixed, that's what I thought, my sixth sense told me something was a miss, the steering didn't feel as electric as it normally is.
"Babe, am on my way there..."
"where?"
"am coming to Nairobi, am already on the way."
"what about Baileys and ice cubes under a tree in the wilderness? What about feeding monkeys, I thought we were going to carry bananas to feed them? What about pool side lunch and massages at the lodge?"
"Have to attend a meeting or something, don't worry will still have an awesome valentines."
Line went dead. Sincerely, deep in me I didn't believe the day would be great eventually, it started off badly, and had no signs of getting better.
It was a long journey, mostly cause the display on the radio wasn't working, so sometimes I heard a good song and imagined that was Capital fm, x-fm, only to find out it was some station in some language I don't understand with very hopeless presenters. Dt. dobie, why didn't you visit Dt. dobie, baby, why? Your radio would have been fixed, the tires replaced, oh dear car? Why? We should have been in the park with you, and now we are heading to some boring meeting, and babe is not very happy about me doing business during a day we had planned for for a long while.
There were cops at the gate, all blue and looking very authoritative.
"I have come for the meeting..."
"just park outside there, the minister is about to leave."
"huh?"
Tried to force my way in, but you know cops. Parked outside and walked in. And there were so many Chinese, almost too many, it kind of didn't feel like Kenya. A Passat dotted here and there, green SUVs, some very box Land Rovers without tint. And everyone was in suits, ties and all. Black suits, you could tell the camera crew very easily, you could tell the help very easily. They were the ones in suits that weren't dark. You could tell who wasn't who very easily, anyone in a buggy suit trouser, and dame in a blazer that didn't have shoulders that stopped at the shoulder; either stopped after the shoulder or way before. It was perfect, smelled like billions under those tents, only that everyone had formed circles around each other laughing loud and exchanging cards. The plastic white seats were deserted, bottles of half empty Dasani flooded the floor, plus there lid wrappers.
I sat to get my hands to stop shaking, it smelt like power that place. And I felt like it, it was time to get acquainted, my job, my career, my... Depended mostly on the people at that meeting, not the lecturers, they can throw me a bone if am good to them, but these people, wouldn't throw me an S600 Mercedes once I started working, they would throw me a chopper easy. If only she could pick up the phone, at places like these, the drill is, know one person, then act like you know everyone.
Too bad. She didn't pick up the phone, therefore, I couldn't start anywhere, i was all dressed up easy, but I was painfully young.
I left, unaccomplished.
"so village market?"
"yes, am at West lands, should I wait for you we drive together or should I meet you there?"
"meet me there..."
If the swimming pool at the park lodge wasn't going to work, which would have been perfect, cause Valentines Saturday was a really hot dusty day. If it wasn't going to happen, shopping was. You go to Sankara, roof top lounge, and you go home after. You go to village market, sit under the tents, eat, and go for shopping after. You know why? Cause Sankara has glass floors running from first to last. Sankara has a gym better carpeted than most homes, Sankara has a swimming pool that has a glass floor that can be admired all the way from Sarit Center.
"five minutes, I will be there..."
"hello, you know am already here waiting..."
"Sorry, jam."
I knew it would take fifteen minutes, cause I was going to fly. And that was when it happened. The car started feeling like it was straining to go up the slopes. Hey, sweetheart, you have Airbags and all, you do a maximum of 240km per hour, we didn't buy you at a car bazaar, we bought you at dt. Dobie, not new reconditioned, new new, it has been ten years or so, but you are a strong car, what is this you are trying to pull? Showing me that you are sweating going up a slope.
Off. Right at a hill, and guys behind me didn't give their honks a break. Guys overtook throwing hands at me, but the windows were tinted heavy, they didn't see me, that made them more daring at their insults.
Move, come on, move. Has your car ever stalled in jam?
Am trying to change gears, press the clutch, my phone is ringing relentlessly, I hate the ringtone, I hate that I am late, I hate that the car is not moving, I hate that I am not driving leisurely in the park stopping by the lake to make out and make up for the time we have been apart overlooking the lake with the flamingoes and all. I hate I am stuck at a hill, and I have to call a dame who has been waiting for me to come rescue me.
I begged the car, I was rough with it, banging the dash board and all. Smashing the Aircon, particularly smashing the LCD screen that kept on telling me Welcome! while the car can't move. Well come to where? Hell? Smashed the screen.
Slowly, my anger evaporated, and I started to think straight. That's why you should never shop with emotion, break up with emotion, dial with emotion, wait for things to settle down, cool out, then talk, unless it is positive emotion.
"hello, babe it wouldn't be useful if you came here, cause even though I decided to open the engine, it would just be to show off I am such a guy, while in fact I don't know jack... Do this, try to get a mechanic or a tow truck."
"okay. Will do that, bye."
I felt nice after being so rational. And that's when the car started, went up the slopes, sweating, it was a roller coster to the Car Bazzar babe had found for me. One moment you will be so hopeful, then you would feel some drag in the acceleration, then you would know, anytime now, off. But then it didn't, and when you thought you were okay,it would go off. I was exhausted driving that thing.
She looked beautiful, in a fawn light shine comfortable dress. Pink earrings that form the perfect couple with the brown dress. She had a stripped hang bag that looked like Paris. Her car felt cooler than mine did inside. The tint?
We kissed, we didn't care what mechanics were there, I grabbed her a decent one, cause even though you don't care what people think, man isn't an island.
At first glance, I knew the mechanic was more a sales person than a mechanic, cause technically, that was a car bazaar. Oh, if they only knew I was going to try to repair the car at a place where they don't leave tags on the wiper knobs written Dt. dobie, next service after 1000km...but what option did I have?
He didn't do a thing, he just opened the bonnet, and closed it; if you asked me.
Next garage was right behind Village Market. First of all, Audi, the SUV, parked next to a convertible, CLK, the small cars had red number plates, vintage cars everywhere. How did such a place pull such high-end clients? The mechanic wore a pair of navy blue Dockers. Exactly what I was wearing. And just like that I knew how those cars were there. Tatooed, half Indian, half something else in vest and greasy apron, accelerating the Audi, listening to the engine.
The other guys, mechanics, talked in Kikuyu, and they trashed talked the Indian kid in nice trousers. And that's how I knew he was the owner, or something close to that. Every time he walked close to my car, the mechanics who were working on it lamented in kikuyu, that he was going to spoil their work. They called him Ka-wire, I think it had to do with his hair.
I felt for him, can't imagine being gossiped about while I stand there not knowing what everyone is saying. But, I guess, the fact that somehow, where he schooled, his pops or mom, his friends and what not, somehow got him good business like that. I bet when he was done with school, he decided he loved vintage cars, and when you come from successful bloodlines, you can pull such useless stunts, like turn into a mechanic yet drive nice, wear nice pants, play with grease as well as play with engine parts belonging to dignitaries. And be lousy at it. Or wasn't he?
"hello..."
"is the car fixed?"
"not yet, babe, but will be done in a bit..."
They didn't fix it. They were not able to identify the problem, but claimed that the clutch need to be replaced. Know why you shouldn't import a rare car model? Cause when the clutch gets spoilt, you have to import parts. And sometimes it is Valentines day when your car breaks down, and you leave your dame at village market cause if she was with you she will spend all her time looking at you with eyes for hurry-up, and you don't need that pressure, especially when a pool is not nearby. Especially when you aren't sipping ice cubes in Baileys at the park in shorts making out under a shade.
I drove back to the car bazaar I was at before, parked under a tree, decided I will walk to village market, eat, then think about how I was going to solve issues.
My lamp chops were nothing but tender, her chicken was, we exchanged plates. She is such a dame, she is such a darling. They say tears on nice seats, sadness over nice food isn't as bad. It wasn't, I was anxious most of the time. She kept asking how the car was, but I didn't want to discuss it. Was wondering whether she would mind my not taking her round the shops picking whatever she liked for valentines, but, I had a car that might require repair. So... Am just glad she didn't insist we shop. Sometimes you wonder, minus the shopping would things be the same? Minus cars? Minus those things you know? Would things be the same? Or would she get angry and leave? Draw away slowly? Would she...
And the meal was nice, though I was just sad cause I was mostly hungry. A hungry man, an angry man. The coke was nice, the ice cubes were nice. The mood was awesome, everyone was happy, and it was starting to rub on me. She sat there observing me more than anything else, we had fun. We had started having fun...
"hello..."
"why are you calling me, you got a clutch?"
"no, an avocado fell off the tree and broke your windscreen?"
"what?"
"if I had the keys I would have moved it...you know you parked under a tree."
Bill, walked out, she held my hand, we didn't talk, but that helped. The hand thing. People stared, but my mind was far. It didn't notice, the second look everyone gave us.
We drove in her car to the car bazaar, didn't feel like it was appropriate to kiss, I just wanted to see the windscreen, hoping he was joking. But could he have been joking?
It looked like he was, cause from a far it looked okay but it wasn't, it was the tint film that held it together. One pot hole and it would all break down like a dropped egg.
"oh my..."
You know, you think somethings, they are ridiculous, you don't want to say them cause it might convince the other person. The theory that, if you hesitate removing your clothes. The other person will also start questioning and it will be you who caused her to hesitate. I couldn't keep it to myself cause...
I was supposed to be at the park, I was supposed to be eating at a raised bar that overlooked wild animals, the best waiters and chefs were there, I was supposed to be eating some rare meat somewhere relaxed, and I had a non functioning car, windscreen broken by a fruit that fell on it, how random is that? Isn't that simply bad luck?
"babe, every time we are together bad things happen..."
"Don't say that"
"no, it's true, remember before Limuru, remember Nyali..."
"So what are you trying to say?" she snapped.
We stood there, looking at the car like we hadn't already seen enough of the disfigured windscreen. I didn't know what next, she was trying to hug me, I was making it difficult for her, the car bazaar watchman wanted to lock up the place, so we had to move the car. It was Happy Valentines dammit, right in my face, Happy Valentines!
The day had just begun... (until my next post)
