The world spins. The sun rises. But when the sun sets is when we are the happiest. The last days of the week are the sweetest. The last hours of the day are the most enchanting. I love night. You love night. We even get married and do at night.
From work, from school, from whatever, the best moments of the day are the moments you get into bed to sleep or to sleep with. Either way, it is a beautiful moment.
To escape the world we close our eyes. You play the leading role in your dreams. You are the director of your dream. In dreams we bath in milk and honey. We cloth ourselves in silk and splashes of love. We travel in jets and kiss in private islands. We court whoever we want and they get trapped in our love nets for as long as we want them to and not only that they do everything we wish them to do as if that is enough they seem not to don't stop doing what we want them to do to us until we are satisfied. How mad were you when someone woke you up from your most sensational dream? When finally you had everything you wanted, everyone you wanted, however you wanted them?
I can't help but notice each one of the billions of people on earth sleeps. I walk on the streets thinking to myself. He sleeps. She sleeps. I wonder for how long? This one, has to be for six hours? Seven? Or four? A mother, less time cause she has to take care of the kid. This guys is just swamped in bills, doesn't sleep as much. Oh my, this one sleeps, that radiant face, she sleeps lots, probably that's why exams mess her up. This other one, i think has a house help so, she sleeps too. This one does things at night, that skirt is too short for her not to be doing things at night. She cant just wait to wake up in the middle of the night. This guy staring at her, oh this one never sleeps. He must be a complete estate dog. No matter who they are, the president, a guard, a carpenter, a cobbler, a student (anytime but exam time, series time or party they all sleep) And I just love that I can think such thoughts with no one knowing what am thinking about. Such things make me love living. The fact that no matter who did what, we all sleep.
But I don't sleep...
I get special visitors at night.
My visitors always come dressed in light colors. They make rackety noises at my corridor, they shake my curtains. They play with my windows. They open taps so that drops of water drip so loud and conspicuously I come out of my sleep.
I walk out of bed cautious to the bathroom with all the spot lights on just incase these visitors decide it's my day. But they are always here everyday am almost giving them names.
Ghosts visit me all nights. I am thinking of serving them coffee cause everyday? Only problem is they turn the warmest part of my body into ice, and people who do that are not people you share coffee with.
It wouldn't help if I took a sleeping pill cause in my dreams ghost are more real than they are in reality. You know, in dreams you never can tell the difference between reality and fiction. The threat of a snake is as real as the threat of a monster that doesn't exist. In dreams monsters are reality. And that is why I never sleep at night.
It's amazing how you can have everything and miss peace of mind, miss a good night rest.
And every time their is a noise outside, I gather up some courage carry a golf club go check up on it. I walk stealthily.
I never find a thing. The wind stops blowing when I walk out to the balcony.
The moment am back in. Door shut. There goes the wind again. Causes my bin to topple over, and chairs to move. Such idiots they are leaving evidence! How do you switch off your lights when that happens?
That's why I am very cross with Kenya Power. Lets assume there are all those noises. Some parts of this large house cooler than others. Some hotter, the windows and doors are such but somehow a certain breeze is always blowing from funny places. How do you explain a breeze coming off from places completely sealed? Then Kenya power and lighting turn the mains off! Crap!
I wish i could sleep in public cause public is the safest place when it comes to these things. But you know. I can't go sleep on the street.
Long ago I used to invite a girl over. She would sleep next to me and on those nights I slept early and like a child.
Somehow am braver when am around a girl. I would ran away from a snake when am alone. But when am with a girl I am always looking for a stick and a stone to show the snake who is boss, and to protect girl.
I flip channels, I flip pages of books, big books that I shouldn't be reading, books totally unrelated to what I study, I blog, it kills time, I listen to music but nothing too strange cause strange music at night feels evil and I don't want ghosts. So sweet music, sometimes classical cause it doesn't have words.
And I swim in the Internet, check out this, check out that, learn this, learn that...
Sometimes I get sleepy. At times I go to the kitchen, I pour myself coffee when my eyes are heavy cause I can't dare close the curtains. I know the moment i let my eyes shut i will be watching nightmares on end.
I stare out of the window. All houses have their lights off. People are dead asleep. And I envy them. I can't sleep.
Sometimes I wish I could do what I used to do, invite someone over not so much to sleep with, but so that I can sleep. But you know what happens when you fall into a woman's arms...
Nowadays I call her. She let me into her heart. I told her to say the word and I would be her man. When the nights get cold and scary. The world punishes me for being comfort and brings me ghost at night. I fight back. When it gets too bad, I switch from Capital FM to Family FM. That cools me down.
When the wind whispers death at night. The world becomes heartless I fight back. I wake up the next day with circles under my eyes. But I slash water at them and soak them in milk and honey and walk tall.
Like I am ordinary, like am like everyone else, who peacefully sleeps. It never comes up in conversations. Cause dirty linen and weakness are only exposed at home.
"baby, tonight I have a feeling, I know it's four o'clock in the evening, but I know tonight will be a really nasty night love. I can feel it. I will cross the streets tall and majestic to meet you, and everyone will see that all is perfect. But baby, when the doors shut, when the curtains are closed, and it is just you and me, I will stop carrying you, I will lay you on the bed, and I will fall into pieces in between your arms. The day I manage well, but the nights...just hold me. It's a fresh piece of hell every night here, worst is that i don't know what am fighting. I know i might never achieve the peace i always hope to but its okay cause you have been here for me... I literally wouldn't survive without you. I need you, as much as I need to write to kill this long nights"
Nothing is quite for sure but I just hope your love for me just holds cause...
It's at night and am walking towards you from the world, I want to let you know by the time I get to your arms I will be breaking down save me.
