I used to be quick in deciding who is mad and who is not. Who is weird and who I can never be like. But that has changed now that I have gotten to see the world using more panoramic lenses.
She has a house. It runs three floors up. She has kids. Each have their room, she lives in Nairobi. She did poultry farming. Hasn't had enough of the hustle. (I hate using that word by the way, the hustle) so...she had options, she used to keep poultry in their shed. A few broilers breeding in their shed, but then the neighborhood cats made it Kenchic they came with forks, knives and napkins.
The chicken were already big enough to eat, but the market for them was slow. She couldn't keep them in the shed. Besides they were only about twenty four remaining unsold. She wanted to put them in the store. Yes, in her house, I guess ambition can really reorganize your thinking. But if you don't look nuts before your Ambition, who will you look nuts before?
Let's just say, one day when her daughter came home with her friend they found chicken roaming around the house as if they were pets. Some on her bed in her bedroom trying to lay an egg, to pop! And you know what, am sure she was wondering? Why arent the chicken using the bathroom and flashing after? Yeah right, that's what she was asking herself!
As much as I found it weird to breed chicken in the house. I didn't think it was too bad. That's cause I have had someone keep for me broilers once. And I know the drill. Everyone is always happier dancing and laughing, but nothing feels like making a profit out of your own labour, regardless of chicken shitting all over the carpet.
So these days, do something almost weird and I will be thinking, you know, maybe he had no other option, you know maybe she thought this was okay, someone must remind her to draw the line between pets and chicken, but don't call her mad. In her situation many would be tempted to think as she thought...do the same thing she did...pet chicken!
Which brings me to Bella Vista, the most Nairobi club in Mombasa, right? Walk in to the first floor, something about it always tells me if it wasn't a night club it would have been a hunters lodge. The first table on the right as you get into the first floor is where we sat.
We were with ladies, we were with men. It was a night, we were going to remember. We got below the the first floor to it felt like like underground. They call it VIP. I don't think it's V.I.P exactly.
Drinks flooded the table in a minute and glasses lost their shiny bubbly liquid fast, at the same rate people faces formed more permanent expressions and everyone seemed to start enjoying everyone else. That was the fashion for the night.
"hey..."
She elbowed me politely. She quietly pointed her chin at some girl who was vigorously dancing. Oh, she noticed her too! for some reason when you feel someone is looking at you they most probably are. You don't quite need your eyes to realize that. The realization of such instincts is what puts you ahead. Realize that and you will be invincible and not invisible.
I smiled casually and ignored. She elbowed me again. She was seated next to me, this friend of mine, and she was being a total girl, Cupid proper. But this time she didn't do the chin thing and the eye thing to direct my eyes to the girl dancing, she pointed at her directly and she did a little dry hump on the seat. I tried to ask her to stop ding the dry hump on the seat. But you know friends they can be very lovingly annoying, and we let them.
I would have choked right there out of embarrassment, but it was a glass of laughter, so I survived. Okay, she seemed to have wanted me, I was sure of it, but I sat there bored as hell enjoying the little boob brushes she did on my head intentionally accidentally. Be a man Bobby, get up! Come on.
She was getting more brave with the dancing on the dance floor as well as the little bossom brush she gave me when she found herself close to my seat.
I thought probably what I needed to do was take a few more so that my brain would block and I would stand up, hold her hips and dance a little. I guess even the shots wouldn't add another ball to my nuts.
I guess it is cause all I was thinking was, hey, my friends are here, all of them, like ten of them, we came here together, besides this is Bella Vista half of the people know me here, have seen me in passing or something, what if I stood up, and held her hips then find out I misread the signs in a very public slap? Will I ever recover from such social humiliation? Wouldn't it be better if I just died? Or packed up and left the country?
I gave myself a little pep talk, be a man and shit. Be confident and shit. All that crap you know, but still I couldn't stand. I simply didn't have the balls. She brushed again more frequently. I even put my hands at the back of the seat I was sitting on, you know sitting like bosses do, and she rubbed on it for a while. A little, then she stops, a little and she stops.
I felt careless all of a sudden. It was my time, I was going to be ready, walk up to her, grab her by her waist, and do a little twist with the music. I was going to seize the night.
There I was, standing up, walking towards her, closing the distance between her and me. I could see her anticipating my coming. (pun intended) I was looking straight at her, she even created space next to her so that I could fit in behind her alright. And I walked right passed her dammit. I chickened out and headed straight for the loo. Looser! Shit!
I wasted my time there, I even used the drier to dry my hands. There was faded music, stupid hellos from people you never talk to, then came back using another route.
She didn't give up. She still tried her luck again. I looked around, there was this girl in a maroon dress it was as tight as a Jimmy hat, her chest was sharp her booty was too big for her. She was perfect for horny. But every time my eyes followed her, she was hugging some guy. The tip toe friendly please-feel-my-things hug, and to me somehow I felt like all these guys had gotten more than a hug from her before. My interest for her was in the toilet after that.
I looked around, fishnet stockings, too short a skirt, ill-fitting tight clothing, face a little not-young, lip stick heavy, too much smoking, legs apart facing everyone instead of the bar. She must be a hooker or something close to that, probably in that line. She had sat there for quite a while sipping a krest or Stoney. Do people still drink that? I wondered, if she hadn't had anyone walk up to her, then I guess people weren't drank enough, first! Second, if she isn't having fun whileas she seems to do these all nights, if she is uncomfortable with the night life which is supposed to be hers judging from how she was dressed; then why should I beat myself up? Then the night is not an easy jungle to be king at. I later found out she wasn't a hooker anyways thanks to gossip. But she went home alone. I saw.
I didn't find anyone else worth my eyes, they were tempting all right, the dancing, the wiggling, the enchantment of the music, the sudden fast pace of it as if to tell me it is now or never. This is your last chance don't screw up, closing time is almost here. The loudness of the music building anticipation and panic, pick and leave or remain alone with your drinks, I felt like a zombie just standing up and walking in the club, it was as if I was cutting through the air as I walk, I could feel it, swimming in the heavy music.
She was right ahead of me, and our eyes met again. Her top was a dark shade of blue, her hair was wrapped up in some grey band, her body was African proper. As in her jeans took her shape well, it was nothing you used a ruler to design, the curves where heavy. She had stuff you could grab on, go around if you put your hands or your lips around them for a treat. They shook a little as she danced. I wasn't going to let go of my opportunity to seize the moment, I was going to seize the night this time. I passed her; then did my second round to the washroom, as if that was where I was heading. NkT! Shit! Shit! Shit!
Why can't I just stop and grab her waist, her hips, dance a little. Four, five, six, seven...times I walked towards her but didnt say hi dammit! Dammit. The dj wasn't helping, cause as the sun tempted to come up, he played more violent music. As if telling you, act now or time is up. Five, four, three two, one... Closing time is approaching. And I could see people walk out in pairs, when people are scarce standards are dropped. Last result.
I watched her walk away.
My night was a frustration. There are no words to express how much a failure i had become. I got home alone that night, on my bed I thought cause again what more can you do when you are alone? Think right? Evaluate! Beaut yourself up for not having the balls. Not doing what you wanted to do, cause you werent brave enough. At four in the morning I beat myself up for failing to seize opportunity more than I have ever beaten myself up than ever before.
But then it hit me, it is my ego I am protecting. I started counting the number of times I have seen men pull stunts. Write numbers on napkins and send the bar tender with drinks, and the whole thing blew up in their face. They still carry the shame to date. I have also seen some really useless moves work, different circumstance different solution right? The problem with me or rather us is that we want constants, we want a formulae we can apply wherever, whenever and however, we don't want to approach things uniquely.
My ego, and my sense of pride are in the sky. And I don't intend to have them land at whatever airport, my ego is too big to land from grace to Tarmac at J.k.i.a or even j.f.k airpot. I am flying high always. I protect my ego.
That's why I stopped at a cyber cafe the next day. I figured hey, those hot chics must be on Facebook, besides it's Saturday, what else could they be doing? Reading economics? I walked in looked at the fly ones, the ones that seemed to be more aware of themselves than the rest cause that's where beauty begins. And the ones that weren't fly I walked to too, cause they had something that made them put them up on societies ladder. Mother nature hadn't made them so fair, but they adopted and people now look at them thinking, unfair-they have made themselves objects of envy. I approacehed those ones to, got close to their computer screen.
Good, she is on some social media site.
"hey, could I check on something here?"
I felt her smile. It was as if she was happy I was talking to her. But she said a disappointed oh when she found out I was checking out her computer and not her.
I took hold of her mouse. Pretended to roam around My Documents, looking for folders I knew very well weren't there. I could feel myself shake a little inside in excitement by just being next to such beauty, I felt a little nervous, inside I was a wreck of joy but I maintained my calm as I looked for my fictitious files.
"sorry, haven't got the file I was looking for."
I blew up her screen for her, as in expanded the windows I had minimized on her screen.
"they normally erase them, sorry..."
I took a step away to leave, then something pulled me back to her. I think magnetism. No sooner, my lips started moving, I couldn't believe myself.
"hey, by the way, since you are here how about you check out my page?"
"you have a page?"
"what page?"
I typed it in. She typed her number into my phone after some little chit chat. And my ego got inflated like a hot air balloon.
The night before it had been pricked until it become flaccid like loli pops no girl likes, but now. I was not Bobby, whose Bobby? I was Mr.hot-Air-Ballon, riding high in the sky like a Boeing.
Anyways, people dearest, you tell me that you hope I get discovered right? I don't want everyone to read my blog, I want a few but more than a few. Will you share me with the world? That Now or Never Moment. The forums are there, it's your choice, fb or twira.
I am braver here, than at that night club. That will be all and world, it is always a ball being here with you.
