It was on a Saturday afternoon. I had just finished writing another post. I stared at the table. Should I? Should I not?
I did.
The pick up was down stairs already. They loaded the table plus my office chair in it. When you want something, you do whatever it takes.
I could see them scratching their heads puzzled, why I was taking an office chair, an office table to the beach? Public beach? Private beach?
Public beach. There are more people there. So I found a spot close to the ocean water. I planted my table there plus my chair. I was shaking, partly cause I was doing this alone. But don't you have to take a step in believing in yourself before anyone believes in you. I didn't want to waste anyone's time, so I was at the public beach alone. No friends. No support us. My battle to fight.
I took my felt pen, drafted on the cardboard the way I know best. Displayed it on the table for people to see. And sat there hoping some people will come to me.
Five minutes felt like fifteen, fifteen minutes felt like a year. Thirty minutes felt like a decade. I smiled at people but no one came. But I couldn't give up. I was so frustrated, I decided, what the hell... What have I to lose? I might as well have fun with this...
I got out from behind the desk. There was a girl in a black and white sun dress, she was very curvy, almost heavy. She looked lovely. Her friend I can't remember what she was wearing, cause no one remembers number two. They were lying in the sand sun bathing. Didn't they have it easy.
"hi..."
"hi"
"lovely afternoon, I can see you are online...twira?"
...before they decided I was being a creep.
"so, my name is Bob and I am a writer."
"oh, okay."
Now they were both trying to see my face, they were bare feet in sand, the sun was shining in their eyes and I was standing in front of them.
"so, I came here to promote my work."
"you have a book?"
"not yet."
"we saw you seated behind that desk, we were wondering what you were up to?"
"yeah, that kinda didn't work..."
"I ran away..."
"you can stay here with us, I bet it more fun than behind your desk alone."
I took off my shoes to join them lying on the sand looking at the waters splash in small waves. The chemistry that happens when one feels the white sand with their bare feet happened. At first I kept on worrying whether anyone wound steal my office seat and table. But you know good conversations, they make you forget about your surroundings.
They were in Mombasa on holiday. Such Nairobians they kept asking me whether they should join me behind that desk on the beach try to get some fans. Something to do with bikinis would help me. Laughter. The beach looked better I told them. Besides, I had gotten two fans now. And they loved some of my posts. I know this cause as they read them as I sat there soiling my clothes with beach sand, I could see them chuckle, giggle I was happy.
Two, is better than nothing. I told them. Just like two true ones are better than a hundred untrue ones.
Later that night, we went out with my friends. I decided to check-in my current location on all social media. I thought it would be an epic fail like the beach thing.
One hour, two hours, I forgot about my update. So, I see this girl walk in, I don't know why I noticed her, probably it's because she had worn nothing but a skirt.
Yes, creative women can pull that off, she had pulled her skirt to her burst, so it looked like a dress, a lovely short dress at that. She looked wonderful, she had pearl earrings. Her face had a touch of make up, she was looking all elegant and shit. Just like... Just like...
Just like the women I describe on my blog...
"hey, I know you..."
"hi. Yeah you look familiar..." I lied.
"no you don't."
She said laughing.
"I read your blog"
I died. I died again.
She gave me a hug. She told me she hosted a show at some weekly event. I offered to attend. But she told me...
"you will complicate stuff for me."
"why?"
"cause I like the co-host"
"what does that have to do with me?"
"he will start asking me, who you are etc"
I bought her a beer, though she wanted to buy me one. It was a good night, no matter what.
I was taking a leak. Still could feel the buzz noise in my ear. That's what happens when you leave loud music for the rest room at a night club, can you relate?
"hey, dude, I read your blog."
"nice work."
"thanks man."
"but I found the earlier ones hard to understand."
He left before I could inquire more, what did he mean he didn't understand my earlier posts? Bad writing? Have I grown since? So back to the bar. Same guy offers to buy me a drink, I accept.
"black ice..."
"dude you take black ice? Seriously?"
Guy leaves. Takes a round in the club. Guy comes back after I was done with the drink.
"Bobby, c you buy me a drink?"
I figure. He bought me one, so its only fair I buy him one.
"bar tender, give him whatever he wants."
We buy each other drinks like two, three rounds before he starts pushing the girls crowded around me away. All my friends are like what the hell? I start feeling uncomfortable, we've been buying each other drinks so I can't just chase him away, I know the music is loud but dude, you don't have to speak so close to my ear!
I excuse myself, hoping he will leave. I had gotten that desperate. At first when you want someone to leave you are subtle, after a while you get tired of them you become obvious.
I was taking a leak again. Lot's of drinks, need for the washroom, relate much?
"you see what you have done?"
He had a bandana in his hand. I didn't know what he meant, and frankly I didn't care. But we had bought each other beers.
I promise you women find it hard. If that's what they go through, you Accept a drink from a stranger, but then you later find out, after taking the drink you can't just tell the guy fuck off, however creepy. You can but it doesn't just feel right.
To tell you the truth, I didn't enjoy the music afterwards, I was just seated at the bar the rest of the time glad my friends were there. I felt trapped. I was glad when he left. Oh I was.
I learned three things that day, never take black ice, or a cocktail in public especially when you are a guy. If you find brown bottles taste like piss. Just order a black ice, add a little Alvaro to color your drink. Let a brown bottle seat on the table. Otherwise, people will think you are playing for your own team.
I also learned that, I don't want to be like 50cent, he came up too fast. The fans he sort of had never enjoyed a long enough relationship with his character. So when he screwed up it was easy for them to pack up and leave like one night stands are. But guys like Lil Wayne, oh he had some very steady growth, I know am a fan, I have been for a while, he sings shit sometime but I let it slide, come on, why wouldn't I, I've been listening to him for decades. Am not close to being published. I want steady growth, like a long relationship.
I want to steal a heart at a time. And right now, every reader I have. I cherish. Even if it is just the two at the beach.
I will get there, someday, but not today, it's one heart at a time for me. Steady rise. I don't want to build my house too fast, cause then it might fall down as fast, I want steady, cause those ones last forever like words do.
