It was Sunday morning, so I woke up a little later than late. Color is navy blue, dark so that I blend with everyone. Navy blue cotton trousers, not wool trousers. Wool is what you wear from Monday to Friday, the suit material, yeah thats wool, dry cleaning stuff.
Sunday is cotton, you know chinos. Dark blue polo shirt. Smart casual suede fitting blazer, stops exactly where my golden watch starts. Blazer shoulder ends exactly where my shoulders end. I was brought up well, come on! Loafers without socks, dark blue velvet ones with a brown sole to go with my brown scarf & brown belt.
I get into the entrance at about 11am. I don't accelerate loudly, I drive slowly so that no one recognizes its me who is driving in that late. Let's call it tiptoeing with Yana tires or is it Micheline, I don't know which ones the car uses.
I have someone in the car. She is my relative, she is in black velvet knee high boots, a green scarf & a light fawn suede jacket that is so girl. We are so neat. But that's not what is important. Yes I like the dress up even though am a guy. But the place I go to on Sunday is a wise place to go.
It's the place where I seat at the pews & ask for stuff. I ask that my life goes well. When the preacher preaches something that I feel touches my life, my heart I hope that the girl I will marry is somewhere seated there. I will marry a church girl when that time comes, not a club girl, not a loose girl, I will marry a church girl. I will build my family around her, wachana na hawa tunacheza nao sahii.
So I try not to stare at the women, cause I don't want lightening to strike me, it's wrong. It feels even more wrong when am staring at them. People stand, people seat, people sing, I try to actually think of the words am singing, it makes me feel like am making a connection better if am thinking about what I sing, but usually, I day dream. But I try. At least, hey am not perfect.
Between those four walls and so many doors I know the people I will employ will most probably be people I met here. I know the people here aren't perfect, but at least they have there hearts' right. These are people who are most likely not to steal from me, back stub me and what not. So when people walk out I will say hi exchange a little of small talk when the summon ends.
But that's not what brought me here, those are just accessories, the reason why am here is cause I want stuff. I want Bentleys but mostly a driver, I don't like driving, and drivers don't come cheap. But it's not that that I just want I want to make better decisions than the average person, cause everything we do is a decision, and people make better decisions than some people. Like right now, I know am making a better decision than the average person cause I am here. But I know thinking that am better than anyone is one of the things that brought me here...
Cause am a bad person, am even a bad person for thinking am better than everyone else, I do bad things and I want to repent here. You can repent anywhere, but I convince myself that network to heaven is better when you are in this building. But thats just me, so it's sorry, sorry, sorry...
You wouldn't notice cause most of the time am playing with my phone, which is wrong, but if you got into my mind you will know how remorseful I am. I believe true charm is in being an angel, not being a bad boy.
So I ask for stuff, say sorry for stuff, listen to stuff, so that I can apply them in my life, I can't apply all of them at once, but I try. It's all about making better decisions than the average person. I know I will get everything I want on earth, I already have perfection, okay maybe not quite but hey this is really close to perfect, the life am living. But then people die like rats, then what...
See, thats another reason why am here. Making better decisions than the average person, or is it He who gets into me when am here that makes me make better decisions than the average person.
Regardless, it gets to lunch time, I've heard something, I feel all fired up. Like I want to help people, like I want to change myself for better, also like I have alot I am not using, and I have a lot of good things coming my way. Bentleys, mansions, pure gold tie tacks, acceptance letter from private yatch clubs, good cross examination skills, whiter eyes, more cheques to buy people stuff, those will drop from the skies & my life will be blissful.
I walk out. I am too hungry to say hi to people, like I was last Sunday & the one before. I get to the car, I reverse making sure I don't hit kids sugar-high from Sunday school. We calmly drive off. I will try again next Sunday, will you?
