Cupcake I will do whatever it takes to make sure am okay, and when am okay we are okay. I know things are complicated right now... I know I am not picking up calls when am supposed to, I known I can't hold a conversation as well as I used to. You know I used to hold conversations as well as your nice bra holds your girls.
But life has happened in a way I never thought it would, it's eating up my joy like acid would eat plastic. I am melting away, but this is how you know I will be okay. I am strong, I am beat up to the ground, but am not dead, I haven't given up. That is how you know I am strong.
I know they say when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade. Babe, I've been trying to make that juice but every time I start making it another lemon hits me.
But aren't I still standing, can you feel it in my words. I am a fighter babe, you partly are to blame. Cause every time I think there is nothing sweet going on. I remember you are here, like you were there...
"babe, am coming tomorrow..."
"you should have told me in advance...nkt"
I was angry. But then you came eventually, cause you understand how things go. It wasn't cool to watch you pay for my dish subscription and sh. And it was worse when you had to remove your purse at the cinema. But it's all good, cause if you are around when things are thick like that, then you are around for the right reasons. That's why immediately after that movie I just had to get you a chocolate gift box. I guess when you maintain your account well you debit card can become your credit card.
But that wasn't even a hard time, uve seen me go through hard times, you had your share at the beginning, you remember when you used to fight with everyone you loved.
I would pause the movie I was watching, and it's not very easy for me to pause movies. I run to the washroom if I have to, I get addicted easily to series. But...
"babe... Babe... Hello..."
"baby it's okay..."
And sometimes I would find myself taping the pillow, rubbing it seated on my sofa talking to you. Imagining the pillow was you and am trying to comfort you. Your tears were my tears baby, I know we found a solution, we decided that those we love, those that have the same blood as we do get a free pass for doing sh to us. We will be there for them no matter what...
Things became easy after that, didn't they babe? Very easy. And the bed business was thorough. We learnt stuff, you got good at stuff, I stopped fearing to touch stuff. Wasn't it nice... Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one&the glass of milk on the side of the bed would topple over slowly and loudly.
A sudden splash, then one relaxed drop of milk after another, one drop, after another until the glass of milk is empty. And we would all be too tired to wipe the mess, too sweaty. But you know you are so girl you clear the mess, after draining me so much.
Remember that party we went to, the guy with the Passat. He wasn't even my friend, or my friends real friend. But he was one of my friends friend. It was nice, with the cigars and sh. I can't believe we actually wore the same colors. You remember that dress I got you. Only the best for my girl, right. Then I went back there and got some other tops. I didn't size you up well with the light blue one. Did I? Don't lie. Maybe I should stick to shoes, I guess am better with that? And bracelets?
That Passat guy was an idiot. I could tell from the start, I remember that night at that party, at the backyard, the white dogs. The barbecue, is it coming back, the swing we sat on in the night, watching everyone in the gazebo smoking shisha. All we needed was each others lips. I slept on your laps as we talked to everyone. Then after a few drinks you slept on my lap & I tried to make sure you didn't talk to anyone. You know when you are high you can be a bitch.
So the idiot guy couldn't just get us the fcuk out of that place. Come on, it was a few meters to Nakumatt, anyways we all hate that guy cause he slept with one of my friends chic. So we decided to hate them both, I know, it's so immature for us to hate people as a group.
But it's love, we are all friends, we protect our own even when it's wrong and senseless. It's the same thing I would do for you.
"honey... I don't like her, don't talk to her"
And baby I will not talk to her, cause its you and me. Then the world, I would screw up the world anytime, every time, all for you baby. Screw it up consistently, ati what? Consistently, as in tena na tena na tena. You can be sure I will side with you even when you are wrong, cause I love you, cause its me you and then the world.
I might not be perfect, but am settled. I am as settled as the horse farm, remember I told you I love riding, and we will go riding. I am as settled as the mosquitoes were settled on you as we overlooked the lake. Remember we packed the cars right at the lake, you carried Delmonte and green apples, I was man and brought the meat.
You really loved the white horse, every time I go there and see the white horse, I feel a tear forming, a warm one, not on my eyes, behind my eyes. It's a sensation. I don't know why I don't text you when I feel like that, but I guess it's cause no one knows how to love perfectly.
I love you baby, I love you cupcake, I try to show it, sometimes I show it right, but you interpret it wrong, sometimes I show it wrong, you interpret it right I get some, sometimes I show the love for you right, and you interpret it right, like I have just done. Baby, baby,
I love you.
