I have a very bad habit. No, am not going to tell you about it, why? Simple. You don't tell me about yours, and if you told me about yours, then it wouldn't be a very bad habit. It would just be show me yours I show you mine, no biggie. It would just be a bad habit, not a very bad habit...note the difference? And bad habits, unlike very bad habits can be cool. Think about it, perfect imperfections. Imagine that very beautiful dame without a single blemish but one; she has the saddest eyes. Her perfect imperfection is those beautiful sad eyes, that send every man from grace to grass trying to make her happy. That's just but a bad habit, you almost can be prideful about it, but the bad habit I am talking about is a very bad habit. You know it is very bad, when you can't tell about it and you laugh-pretend too hard when people joke about it...
I want to stop. I want it to stop more badly than a smoker wants to quit. I want to stop more badly than Michael wants to break out of prison. Yes, I mean Michael Scofield. For all those episodes, remember the tension? They say addictions are all in the mind. I think so, but only in part, if it really were all in the mind then tell me why it brings out the animal in us? takes away the mind we have? brings us right to our knees? Your mind can't let you kneel but the animal in you can bring you to your knees. Babe, can you relate? Bed? You are a good addiction though. I don't want you to stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. Oh yes. Oh yes. Right there. Good addiction, but my bad addiction. I hate.
What I keep telling myself is that...if you hate someone, it is a relationship, if you love someone it is a relationship, if that person becomes invisible to you then it is not a relationship. Get it? The word is relationship. Relate. That is why I want to stop relating with my addiction, cause fighting with it is a relationship. All I want to do is give it a cold shoulder. That's the first step in breaking up.
Enough about relationships we want to break. Let's talk about the ones we want to keep. Now, that's something to write about. The relationship between me and water. Please don't get any ideas. I am not a fish, I promise you Bobby is not a fish. I don't live in a pond, and mostly I sleep with my eyes closed. And I don't write under water, I repeat, I don't write under water, I am a full mammal, I am a land animal, and the only time I am with water is when am taking a shower. That is the relationship I am talking about between water and me.
Let me let you in on a secret, the better your idea, the better you live. We are creatures of our thoughts and ideas. And that's what makes you more you than the next guy. And the best ideas come from the shower. Remember that Eureka guy. You know him right? He had an epiphany taking a shower. And he ran in the street screaming I found it, I found it.
I try not to think in the shower, cause unlike then people now have camera phones. So I do my thinking as I wash my dishes. Good reputation, that's what I was thinking about. No, I wasn't thinking about your bosom. No, I wasn't thinking about how that foam of soap kind of looks like things I would pour on them. Who does that? (shaking my head pretending am puzzled and shocked.) I was thinking about what good reputation is.
They say you need it to make it in your career. That stupid ghost called reputation, why can't you come down to earth and be touchable so that we can steal you. Mr. Good Reputation? Is that too much to ask? Mr. how long does it take to build you, five years, six, seven, then how long does it take for you to break? Five, six, seven minutes. I thought about it, did the math, if it takes seven years to build a good reputation then that could only mean it will take me seven years to become a star in my industry. Go shove it!
Did I say I was with water, dishes... I had my eureka moment. If I started writing about politics, I started talking about politics, you found me walking down the streets and even my perfume smelled like politics, wouldn't I have build my reputation as a politician?
If I worked in an office, and I very publicly surrendered twenty thousand bob that I claimed I found lying on the floor. Asking who it belonged to? Wouldn't you start thinking that guy must be such an honest fellow? I can trust him. If I didn't need money, but I just pretended I needed some, then asked you to lend me twenty thousand, and you gave it to me, and I promised I would return it after a day, and I took your twenty thousand, put it in the cabinet and on the third day gave it back to you, wouldn't you think I am honest? What if I did that like five times? You will trust me wouldn't you? Don't believe me? Ask a con man.
That's a bad example, (do not do this at home. Hehe) but I wanted you to get my point. Reputation is built by actions. I act in an honest way, the more I act in an honest way, the more the times, the more firm my reputation stands. And when there is no opportunity to act in an honest way, create one. Real opportunities come over seven years, that's how long it takes to really build a reputation, if I ran after opportunities to build my reputation, or created some, would I build a reputation in way less the time?
Why all this? Why reputation? I asked the dishes I was cleaning this. It is good to live alone you know, you can talk to your dishes and no one will tell you jerk. You can sing in the shower and you will never hear giggles outside the door. You can look at yourself in the mirror more longer than a girl would and your dame will not dump you. You can decide that your face is too oily and buy soaps that Oil Control and leave their wrapper in the open. You can talk to your dishes, and ask them what is the whole point about a Good Reputation.
And your dishes will ask you what is the bigger picture? And you will tell the dishes you want a Law Firm with many lawyers working for you. And the dishes will ask you what kind of Reputation will attract you to the point of employing a certain lawyer. And you will stop for a second and wonder why the fuck you are talking to pieces of ceramics in soapy water. But you will realize you are alone, so you can be mad. It's not madness if you do it alone. Madness is just doing what society doesn't expect, like walking completely naked in the street. Society is not in my house, I am alone. So let the dishes talk.
And I told the dishes that the most important reason for employing ten other lawyers instead of working alone is that I get ten times more the profit as I goof around at the tennis courts instead of the office. And if a potential employee walked into my office and...
"What is your most defining characteristic?"
"Mr. Bobby, what do you mean? Are you asking me what my reputation is?"
"Yes, you are already giving me reasons not to employ you by your asking me that."
"Mr. Bobby, my reputation is that I always deliver."
"What does that have to do with law?"
"Mr. Bobby, nothing."
"Then why should I hire you? You are a lawyer aren't you? Not a post man delivering parcels." (I can talk like that cause am the B, yes Boss)
"Yes I am, but I can see what you want to do is make money Mr Bobby..."
"So..."
"I will deliver that."
And I will laugh, rocking in my chair, (I didn't say rocking 'with' my chair, I said 'in', something about the chair) I will call in the secretary and have some coffee for both of us.
"If you can do that why work for me?"
"...cause you have the resources, you know how hard it is to make it out there. Besides, if I started from scratch, let's just say it will take a while before my kids go to private school. And I know if I do well you will give me a commission or something..."
And I wouldn't even waste time looking at his cv, first of all cause I have people for that, and second of all I will be too impressed to. I will not question why he didn't show up for work at 8 in the morning. Heck, I wouldn't care a damn, provided at the end of the month he has brought in those clients however he got them, I have bought my S600 (that bitch is a 6L and still a sedan, V12, shove that into a Range Rovers rare or exhaust pipe whichever hole you wish provided you shove it) I wouldn't care at all if he slept with who and not with who, provided at the end he has continuously acted in a way that reinforces his reputation to deliver and not acted in a way that damages it, like not bringing in profit at the end of the month.
And that my friends, is why you should think around water...
Eureka baby!
