There is your chance, watch it walk away from you... Watch it go... She is the slim kind, twenty six, and I fcuked everything up.
We were to meet up at two o'clock. Some person here lost car keys, yes, to one of the cars that just lies around, that I happen to drive during the holidays. And you know what? Sharing...
She was done at two with the errands she was running in town, and it was time to hook up with Bobby. And where was Bobby, he was all dressed up and ready to meet this damsel.
We had talked, spent New Years talking to each other. Happy new year happened when she opened my inbox happy new year and I opened her text happy new year, and it felt like a total new year. And we talked around sex, but never about it, that's seduction my friends.
Here I was ready lying on my bed, it was two and she was in town done with her errands and I was at home on my bed ready to see her.
I knew she would wait for me for thirty minutes... So I asked her to. She was okay with it.
"where are you? I also want to use the car man..."
"give me a few minutes am almost done."
Dialing tone.
I thought I should try that thing I was trying. Reading while chatting. I want to get used to it. You know combine a very boring activity (reading law) with a very thrilling activity (chatting with friends). Yeah I know... You think it's impossible. But am ready to make it possible. You like coca cola with food. Why? They advertise coca cola with food. It's a mind game, it's building a habit. It's January, so it's going to be hard, I might chat more than I read but by December I will chat as much as I read; while I read. And you know what? Every time I feel like chatting I would feel something is a miss until I have a book. A page, then chat, a page then chat, until it sticks like coca cola and food. And I will have A's, so many I probably will change my name to Abby. Okay, maybe that's a chics name. Understand, I couldn't call myself another guys name, it feels off.
So I tried the study while chatting thing, it felt off but as I said, habits as hard as they are to break they are equally as hard to build. Cheers to happy library time this year.
Three o'clock. Car is not here. Dammit! Sharing cars...
Her: you know am texting this waiting for you
Me: am just waiting for the car, he told me he will be here in fifteen minutes
"where are you man, I need the car."
"give me fifteen minutes am coming..."
And it was four when he showed up. I stopped studying long ago. You know, that moment when someone is waiting for you, but you are more anxious about them waiting for you...
She: where are you? You know am alone?
Me: five minutes I will be there
I was sure I would be there in five minutes. As sure as you are that tomorrow will be morning and that exam will be sat at eight in the morning. I was that sure I would be there in five minutes, and I told her. I was not going to drive, I was going to fly. In a car still... You know what I mean.
"dude, I got to pick something I left where I was?"
"what?"
"my phone man, I left my phone."
And you know, when someone leaves there phone, especially if it is a Samsung Galaxy, you go pick it up. And I was getting into a small flame watching him drag his feet serving himself a glass of water. There was a hot dame who had been waiting for me in town for over an hour and what was he doing, sipping his bloody water. It was like he was trying to lick honey with his tongue from a beehive. We finished his damn water and dragged his shoes to the car. I didn't say I was in a hurry, I looked it, it works better.
I didn't stop for the bumps. I imagined the road was flat. Power of positive thinking!
Her: You said five minutes, ai, it's another thirty minutes already.
I didn't stop for the second bump. I thought about texting her back, but what would I say? I am not driving to her, am driving towards some phone someone who made me late carelessly left some place? What is she left? Maybe I should ignore her text and text her just before I get to where she is, maybe receiving a text then will make her feel like I didn't take that long...
I didn't text cause if I texted at that speed, as much as I was flying, I wouldn't be hitting a cloud. I would hit something more earthly... solid, like a tree or something. I didn't want to get into a collusion with a tree, cause that just looks bad. As in this guy just drove off the road and miles away met a tree head on. Not cool, no one says it's cause you were driving, they always conclude other things.
We picked the phone. It was fifty minutes later than one hour late. Oh my, I would almost be happy....if she just texted me she left. I had been so unfair to her. He had his phone but I still had to take him back home. No, I couldn't leave him in the streets, but I actually thought about it. Man, I was late, she would be furious.
I sped back home and left him there. The car wheels did a spin before it could move, if there was dust around you could have as well called some kids and told them Safari Rally.
Yes that was how I got back to town, Safari Rally. (stupid iPad just autocorrected Safari Rally to Safaricom I laughed, you know the way you laugh when someone insists you love the person you hate, I laughed that design) I drove with loud music, high adrenaline, doesn't need high music, you don't feel the music so much, you just try stunts, overtaking when you aren't supposed to, braking too much, accelerating faster than a bad stomach ache.
I could feel it. Finally. Finally. Finally I could call her and tell her I am close by and I meant it. Finally. As in my heart beat beat differently. It's like the first time you stop sleeping in blankets and started sleeping in comforters, everything felt lighter.
I slide through the streets like a skater slides through ice, and I pulled emergency breaks so loud that when I parked she came out of where she was waiting to meet me. I didn't need to call her, my entrance did.
I could see her from my side mirror. She had the shades Paris Hilton used to wear before someone wore them better than she did. Who wore them better? The dame in my side mirror. She always has this walk, she is as tall as high spirits. She is as slim as popular culture, she is as cool as ear phones in the ears, the cool ear phones. She wears jeans in the slim size designers created them in. She has tiny boobs and the most light skinned cleavage I have ever seen. She is a bitch. As in the kind of dame you would think is, slim, slender, perfect, beautiful, model, with baby dread looks. If she was to eat steak, her's would be the slender type. Oh she looked amazing. She pulled the door open like it was something heavy, and it looked like it looks on television. Like a dream.
She sat. She was in blue jeans, slender, a top, designed with care, blue hints, she had a jacket, woolen with padded shoulders, so she held it with her light skinned hands (she looked like a powerful bird with shoulders) that didn't look very different from her palm, as in her skin and her palm almost matched, delicate. She sat, her eyes hiding behind the shades. Oh I died.
And I loved that music played loud in the car, and my cars horse power was bigger than the average car. Cause she is not average, she is over average and over what over average is.
"hi..."
"you.. Hi."
She was composed. She didn't start cursing. She was twenty six. And I was in one of those skinny ties. And I kind of felt she was cool, she was different. She was composed. She was proper, she was sure. She was mature, and as cool as fuck. You know how cool fucking is... She showed it dust and she was even cooler than it.
I sped off, cause she had this way of not making me feel like a writer she made me feel like a rock star. Screw writers. I sped off. And we started with Nakumatt, cause one, she didn't want to eat, she is the kind of dame that doesn't eat, she runs on fashion or beauty. Maybe she just looks at her self in the mirror, sees her face, eats that beauty up and is too satisfied for meals. I went to the shop to buy, one rubber, for sex. Two, two sodas, cause we were going to get thirsty after the ride, three chocolate. Energy bar.
"Where are we going?"
"to catch a drink..."
"where, please don't take me to the country club, those people are so stiff..."
"so where?"
"waterbuck is cool..."
And I was thinking, everyone can go there, even carjackers... The club, no one can get in, you know that whole finger print thing at the door.
In my head I was thinking, okay. If she wants us to go to Waterbuck, probably there are people there waiting for me, and she is one of them. No wonder she is making so many phone calls when I leave the car. Probably that's why she went to the washroom, to inform them that I have decided we are going for drinks. I know what I will do, I will change course...
I drove to Tuskys Highway. Very pointless endeavor, I had told her I was going to get her drinks, then I turned to Tusky. Oh Tuskys has never tasted alcohol or wine, do they even have old Jamica,you know it has rum. I left the car, I wanted to leave one of my phones connected in the car then walk out of the car with the other. You know, spy on what she was talking about when I left the car. Maybe her conversation would go like this...
"yes, am in the car with him. It looks like we are heading to his home. Be there."
"we can wait at the gate? What car is he driving?"
"...the blue one."
"keep your head down, we will attack when he gets here."
"got to go, I can see him coming."
Nakumatt didn't have durex. Can you imagine, so I had to go to the chemist in Tuskys to get a pack.
I walked back to the car. And no, that conversation was in my head,i didn't connect a phone in the car and listen in on her conversation. I just made that conversation up in my head. Especially when I found out that she had opened the door and was leaning outside talking on the phone.
"hey..."
"hi."
I got in, and drove off. Direction, farm house. It was a smooth ride, I was thinking how paranoid I was... At times thinking how pretty she was... Other times thinking... How I was going to save myself.
"hey... Their is something for you in the bag."
"icecream, nice..."
"by the way, you know that's the problem of getting used to cars. You should have just taken a matatu or a cab as I waited for you..."
And I wanted to say that, you can't get a cab where I live. You can't get a matatu, but I thought against it, cause no one want to here that except the people you live with.
I knew what I was doing, what I didn't know was how stupid I looked trying to dodge things that are in my mind, if they were, where they? Was I going to drive home, and right there at the gate, the moment I pressed the gate remote, the gate would not open, then everyone would show up all of a sudden and surround the car, with guns, in broad day light, and probably the dame I was with had a gun in her hand bag, did she? I must take it away from her reach. I promised myself.
I took an unexpected turn, am sure she though I was so bright if was right about my suspicions, or very unpredictable if she wasn't. We went some place, and I packed.
"This is not your farm house..."
"yeah, I know, picnic..."
She kept on getting this texts. She claimed from Safaricom. (no autocorrect here). And I was wondering, okay. How many of those are you getting?
And before five minutes were done, I was asking her to leave. We drove off, towards the route that the farm house is at. And I saw everyone around us on phone. On the road, and I though probably they are woth her, they were all plotting against me. And I felt fearful. I was sure.
I missed the turn to the farm house. Do you know the expression one gives asking What The Hell? She gave it. But not looking at me, she gave it at the window, and I could swear that there was no one there.
We got to town, I took her to Bontana, the swimming pool upstairs. Guava, Nakumatt, Tuskys, some other places... Now another hotel. The pool is at the roof top. Heated pool you know. I slept on on of the pool side things people sleep on to sunbath or dry or whatever, she sat facing me. I felt man.
"Can I have your phone?"
"No..."
We did that thing for grabbing phones. You know it right, nice. She deleted some, then gave it to me. Normal text, call log, unsaved numbers here and there. But safe. I think? There was no way anyone was going to take me down, the hotel wouldn't let it. It was bad for business.
"hey, pretty... You know I have trust issues."
"women?"
"yeah... "
She curled back. She suddenly felt cold and needed to cover herself wth the jacket. Her awesome jacket. She looked so pretty. The sun set reflected so nicely on the pool, through the town and trees to us. Golden. A golden moment, even the water was golden, the skies...
"Emotional issues with women? Financial? Spiritual?"
I dint get how that last one got into the mix. And she did a very shoddy work explaining it.
"we closing the pool." said the stupid waiter.
"we want drinks..." I told him.
I meant it as a joke, but I think he saw it as if I was trying to exact authority on him. You know, I was in a tie. He tried to explain, which he didn't need to. Yes, I know he was just working, he wasn't the one who said when the pool should be closed. He just executed. I didn't want to cause him stress.
"I though we were going to have drinks here..."
"I thought I should drop you home... Its late you know."
And I took another turn, back into town. I packed outside Gilanis. She hated the club.
We got into Enigma.
"wow, this place has changed..."
And she had a Chocolate Orgasm, which made her orgasm. I had a Redds.
"You know, Kenyan men aren't romantic, that's why..."
"But I opened the door for you?"
"which door, lies!"
"every time i get into the car, I push the passenger door open from inside for you to get in..."
"that's not being a gentleman, you supposed to go round."
"hey, am not dating you, and I think sometimes its too much to go round..."
"what about these seats, why didn't you pull it for me?"
"I touched the back of your seat before I sat on mine..."
"hehe"
"that must count for something..."
And it did, cause the seat I touched the back of, as if to pull it out for her, she sat on it.
"gentlemen are about gestures... Not pulling things."
Okay, come to think of it I should have pulled. Maybe? And...
"why you taking Redds?"
"to build rapport..."
And I told her we had seen the sunset as we talked about trust issues, she had held my hand, we had had a picnic for seconds and it was fun. And I think she decided I was romantic. But I didn't care, cause... Newsflash, not my girlfriend.
And my oh my, I felt at home. I was safe, even if guys came brandishing guns, there was no way they would dare show up where I was. And I felt safe at it's exclusivity. I talked, oh my, was it the beer or was it the location, I tales, I lite up, I was happy, I was no longer fearing for my life.
And when I walked to the loo, I wondered. Was she really part of some gang... You know, you never know these days, equality. When she talked about trust issues, she just jumped into relationship stuff, and gold digger stuff, that I can handle, even the parts I can't handle, but kidnapping stuff, and car jackers stuff, no. And I started wondering, probably she erased some text from her boyfriend, funny text, or embarrassing photos, probably she wasn't erasing her call log that had strange characters, probably the conversation she had at the shop was with her girlfriends, telling them she was finally going to bang me, you know, in bed, we texted a little nasty. The ones you read into, not just read nasty on them, those never bore.
You remember that expression she made, the What The Hell? One when I didn't turn to the farm house. She made it at the window, probably there was someone scouting outside the car who was wondering why we weren't heading to the house, probably it was body language, you know, your mind can ask What The Hell? And instead of showing it to the person who said it, you say it to the window subconsciously... You know like when you smile at someone until you look away and you frown not meaning to.
You thought you had trust issues... There are mine... Whatever glitters like gold might not be gold.
