It is at night, and a nightmare seizes my night. I had a dream, there was a crowd and the crowd was young and cool. So cool, they wore shades at night. How cool is that? They all sat on grass, waiting to be entertained or something. And there were a group of entertainers, and I was one of them. I was all fired up to speak, I was ready to entertain. I sat on one of the chair stools, ready to do a Spoken Word, like poetry writers do, I hope you know what that means.
So how did it become a nightmare. That you will come to know as this post comes to an end.
So here I am in my bed, it's five o'clock in the morning, a new year, if it was a car it would still have that new car smell, the fifth day of the year and I woke up in great fear. The problem is that when you wake up in slow motion one tends to mix the actual sounds outside and his dreams, and that sometimes can be dangerous. Especially what you were dreaming about was more of a nightmare than a dream. I always wonder, do people who like horrors like nightmares? No really? Do you...
In my horror movie, sorry, nightmare, I heard voices, and for a moment I thought everyone had left for Heaven or something and I was left alone. I feared. But then listening to the voice more keenly as I got more awake I discovered that it was only the television. And I was glad, I was glad cause it wasn't too late. Again, I had another chance of having a relationship with Him.
So I did what I would do best, work on it that moment. You know when you need to fix a relationship the best moments are fixing it yesterday. I could sleep a little longer, wait for morning to come properly, you know, after sun rise and right there I would mend my relationship with Him. But as I said, I just woke up thinking I was left alone on earth... Everyone had gone. The world can come to an end at anytime, you on the shower and whup... The world has come to an end. Everyone has gone. I needed to fix that relationship immediately, no taking chances!
So I opened the door to my room... As I said the television was on and was loud, so I wasn't the only person awake.
"hey, good morning Bobby. You never sleep..."
"Morning, sorry I was asleep."
"it's such a shame you have sleepless nights Bobby..."
Really? Didn't i just mention I was asleep. And all I wanted to do was rush to the loo and finish my business. And here he was, family, trying to have a conversation with me which I was not in the mood for.
"no... I have been sleeping. I just woke up." I said sharply.
Actors, is there any actor reading my blog? How do you fake a morning face if you don't have one. Hey, readers, i think there are no actors who read my blog. I know my heart is broken too. Where was I? In the living room. And I walked away, before more presumptions were made, and he dramatized everything. You know the kind of people who make your sorrows seem like tragedies or your battles won feel like wars. I knew he would dramatize anything little I did, and maybe that's what made me hide what I was doing. And no, am not talking about hiding the fact that I was going to the bathroom. Imagine I tiptoed even after being seen.
I knew where I could get one of those books that would keep me company. But you see, this is the house we live in before we build that new castle will be living in. And this place kind of forces you to meet people in corridors and all. The thing I had to do was rush to my smalls bedroom, pick his Bible which is on his table arranged using one of those fine files blue things. (looks like a spaceship, a little...) Today you can even buy neatness. What a gadget...
If there was a way this guy who was still doing his work on the dining table, if there was a way he would see me walk out of my smalls room with a Bible, and he had already jumped into assumptions that I hadn't slept the whole night I would be done. As in completely finished. Oh, this little thing about my picking a Bible from small's room would be dramatized in ways you couldn't imagine. So I had to be skillful about it. Hide.
"you don't eat well..."
"I ate. Come on, I ate more than everyone else."
"you know if you ate more you wouldn't be awake at this time..."
"I ate enough."
And yes, I had a full plate of food the night before. A cow with it's million stomachs would have been embarrassed, actually blushed. Am surprised I wasn't chewing curd in my sleep, you know, after all that food. Aren't cows weird, chewing card? Who does that? What does that? It's like eating vomits. Next time you meet a cow, tell it it's weird, give it a chewing gum, that is what is chewed, not thing out of the stomach, things to the stomach. But you know what? Let them be, cows! Weirdos.
"are you hungry?"
Then I thought, saying that am not hungry would be sort of a lie you know, kind of, come on, hear me out. I hungered to open the good book, you know turn through pages and all. Have God talk to me, then after I am done I could talk to Him, ask Him to sort out things for me. Was I hungry? Did he mean spiritual hunger or literal hunger for food?
"Are you hungry?"
"not really..."
That felt more a sincere answer.
It was in a box, (the looked like a spaceship thing again, not funny, okay?) you got to give that to us, if you showed passion for God by collecting fancy Bibles, we would have taken that home. As in, beautiful, as in this one came in a case, and the lining was golden, it had that feel of ancient times with it's leather, it had a feel of the slim modern sleek pages. It was brand new, it was beautiful, all I wanted to do was open it and read it, again and again. I got it out of the case it came with, you know, packaged with care, in a case that looked like that of a board game, I think it was meant to care for the Bible, it shouldn't get hurt, the pages, the lining. You know, when you love something, usually you take care of it. When someone you love gives you something, you usually care for it... (I used the word 'usually' it has something to do with common sense not being so common). Usually.
I pulled it out of it's carton, rearranged the carton back onto the table with the fancy file thing that makes books stand on their own in a shelf and walked out. I know my small wouldn't even notice it was missing if I left the case there. I will return it when am done though. And I hope when
I return it he will notice it has been read a little. You know one or two dog ears on the pages, unintentional, probably even deliberate, you know, if he notices that the book was opened he might open it too.
All that remained was sneaking into my room without being noticed. If it was discovered that I had a Bible, oh my, at night when it was assumed I couldn't sleep everything would be blown out of proportion, as in everything. First of all, the conversation would start with oh no... Or woiy... Or any other utterance that makes one feel intense pity for themselves, is that what woke you up? Do you need us to seat down and pray... Or can I help... Or are you stressed, and right there I would be finished.
I wanted to do it alone, go to my room, lock the door where I am not seen and read alone. I didn't want to be seen carrying a Bible around, no. I didn't carry a Bible often, it wasn't usual, and a big deal would be made out of it.
It couldn't fit in my pocket, but I hid it in between the newspaper. Somewhere in me I hoped that I was seen more carrying a Bible to my room rather than a newspaper. But what can I say? I had a relationship that needed serious mending, it was uncommon to see me with a Bible heading to my room.
And since the Bible is complicated sometimes, and sometimes you need help, I had one more task. The Bible was safe on my bed and no one had noticed. No one had blown it out of proportion, no one.
There is this book, Daily Power, I had seen it in the living room. If I had been not so busy walking through woolworths in sarit center, or that other shop next to it with nice ties, if for a second I would have planned not to spend all my time in the Apple elite shop downstairs, I might have been the one who stopped by keswick. Yes, the Bible shop downstairs, and I would have picked up a few Bible things, or things related to that, and you know, when you love to write you want to read literature books, you want bumper stickers that say 'I am a writer', generally you are attracted to things related to writing. If I had been attracted more to things related to Bible, I would have been the one that got that Daily Power, you know that book that helps you read the Bible.
As I said, I had seen it in the living room, I sneaked out, I went back to the living room.
"Bobby, hasn't been sleeping."
"oh, why do you say that..."
I was there and they were talking about me like i wasn't. I was the subject of conversation. Two minutes weren't done, and things had been blown out of proportion.
"huh?"
I would have gone like... I have been sleeping... What do you mean.., how do you know... I wanted to tell them that I was so dead asleep, my pillow envied me... But what would that do? Extend the conversation, turn it into an argument. I let it slide.
Books, books everywhere, that is how the living room is, psychology books, whatever books, you name it, don't be surprised I write. The book I wanted was a Daily Power, and all I could see was the Daily Power 2011 edition. It is 2012, and I wanted the 2012 version. I thought God would speak to me more currently through it in synch with the Bible.
And you know where I find it, right where the television is. In the open. And the television was tuned into family, cause at night that's the only channel to watch. I don't know why these guys even pay subscription for the three decoders that seat there, and no one ever watches anything. In fact, one of the decoders has not been connected to the television for what? Three months... And I was sent to pay for it. Anyways, Family tv was on to keep company, people were reading work stuff, at what time, like five in the morning.
I picked it up with one hand, using my body as shield and I put the book, Daily Power 2012, right in my pocket. I finally had found it. And I escaped, I got into my room safely.
It is at night, and a nightmare seizes my night. I had a dream, there was a crowd and the crowd was young and cool. They all sat on grass, waiting to be entertained or something. And there were a group of entertainers, and I was one of them. I was all fired up to speak, I was ready to entertain. I sat on one of the chair stools, ready to do a Spoken Word. And you know what I asked when it was my chance to talk... I asked if I could pray. I anticipated an obvious it's okay. But...
"if this guy has come to pray just ask him to leave..."
And my heart broke. As in into pieces, not so much cause I was rejected, mostly cause these cool young guys refused to talk to God, as in come on.as in God, you are listening right, they didn't want to just say a short prayer and my heart broke. As in, I know am not a good person, probably even this post has issues, but look at my heart, when people don't see it a good thing to have a relationship with you my heart breaks. Isn't that love?
Either way, I knew what I would do. I sneaked it in a story on how it is important that this relationship works, (am good at sneaking in stuff you know...) I talk to you in a prayer, I thank You for stuff, and ask You for even more stuff, then I listen to what You have to say, so I flip through the pages of this fancy Bible. And that is a good relationship my friends, each one talks and each one listens.
And God, I hope I haven't offend you in this post. But if I have, forgive me through your Son. You know my heart was in the right place as I wrote it.
That would be all folks. Now, it is already seven thirty and did I tell you we when I woke up? January has almost settled in fully, let me enjoy these last days of my holiday sleeping in.
I know. I know...
