Hi sirs and dames. What's wrong with this... 'hi sirs and dames?' do you see anything wrong? Do you? Now you are getting me angry, you can't see what's wrong with 'hi sirs and damsels?' You are lucky I love you, so I can't stay mad at you. Yes you. What did you say? Am the lucky one? Okay... But now I have constant viewers. Really? Really? Am I crossing the line? I hope I am... Cause this post is about crossing the line.
Ladies and sirs, we are human beings. Beings. If we were about Doing we would be HumanDoers not HumanBeings. As much as I like being the best in everything, yes, I know no one can be perfect but there are those that are closer to perfect than anyone else. I intend to be those people. But being that kind of person (closest to perfect) is as hard as trying to get a girl to notice you, not any girl, the girl who doesn't notice you. No, not that girl you are thinking about, the other one, the one who is not a slut. Yeah, sometimes being perfect is as hard as trying to get the girl who doesn't notice you notice you. It's frustrating. She is decent, no one has ever had her, she hardly notices anyone but gets noticed. And when she notices you, you know you are close to perfect.
As much as some other book I read was about how we are HumanBeings and therefore we should take time breath cause that's what our Creator finds pleasure in us doing, breathing, eating, sleeping (amongst other things). It kind of makes sense. Let's say I got some chic knocked up which I will not anytime soon, but let's say I did. And then my son was born, or daughter, who I will name Blair by the way. Yes, I know my daughters name and even don't know the mothers name yet. The irony of life. Let's say I put Blair to bed, she slept after we had an awesome day with her, she took a shit on my backseat, now it is ruined. Yes, kids can be annoying and cute like that, and that's cause I got her a lot of icecream and ballons, you know kids they love the simple things until they watch enough Telly and want a car @18. As I was sayin, we are humanBeings, and our Creator loves to see us being human, eating, breathing, just being. Now imagine me seated next to my daughters bed, and yes am reading to her a bedside story I wrote her. Yes, some stories will be about monsters, but you know I don't like horrors, i like success though so most will be stories about how my daughter crossed the line first when she got older. Only a writer can write such stories, no? She would know she was meant for great things from an early age. Cause she is, she doesn't just know it yet.
As much as that, we are human beings, not human doers. That's what the book I read said.
It is always good to finish first, yes, whose favourite animal is a tortoise? Or a snail? Don't be disgusting. It's always good to win, love winning, then win, it feels good. It requires you to do more than everyone is doing. Right now as I lie on this bed, it's late the mosquitoes are asleep, so I can write peacefully. Yes, I think mosquitoes sleep. I have a lot in common with mosquitoes. Actually, once we met at night with mosquitoes, we had coffee together. And I told a mosquito going by the name Amos Quito...
"Mr. Amos, I really would like to be able to keep the whole world awake at night."
"Bobby, Bobby Bobby... It's very simple...."
Mr. Amos Quito took a sip of his coffee.
"Bobby, it is very simple to keep the world awake when they should be asleep, like I do. You just need to do your thing."
"what's your thing Amos?"
Amos took another sip of coffee. It spilled on his lip and he wiped it off woth his hand. I wondered if that's what he did as he sucked me blood.
"I sting, Bobby. That's my thing."
"Amos, so what you are telling me is that I should get a sting? Cause I would really love one, then I would be able to sting you ,you know.......As revenge!"
"Bobby, you wish... First of all even if you had a sting, look at me, am not meat or blood, am toothpicks. The size of tooth picks. The only part of me that is fatty is my stomach. And am sure Bobby you don't like eating intestines... Do you?"
I thought about Maini and decided no.
"Bobby, do you know What you can do to keep people awake when they should be asleep?"
"what? Mr. Amos, please tell me."
"Bobby, just blog."
And thanks to Amos Quito, you are awake right now. But Amos is asleep, that's why I am awake right now. If Amos wakes up, I will fix my Mosquito Quill and kill him.
What am trying to say is first, we are humanBeings, and we should take sometimes, sit down and just breath, eat, tuck our daughters into bed and watch them sleeping for a bit. Cause our Creator watches us sleeping to. See the love?
Secondly, am trying to say you should not eat up everything you read. If I called Home,
"Hi mom, I have decided to be a human being. Therefore I am taking less time in the lecturer halls and taking time to breath."
" ****************** "
And there comes the dialing tone. As much as some guy writes a book and says 'humanBeings not humanDoers' eat a little cause if you eat everything you read you will get fat. So pick the good out of this blog, let the sex just entertain you. Don't eat it. Threesomes don't taste nice, one girl one guy taste nice. It's in good taste too. I hope you will be a humanBeing, take sometimes to breath out, then be a humanDoer breath in, run until you cross the finish line first. Cause the winner gets it all, taste it.
Thirdly, let's end where we started. What is wrong with 'hi Sirs and Damsels?' what? Let me tell you, mothers and daughters first... Sons and fathers next. So, Damsels and Sirs. Not Sirs and Damsels. And Damsels, when I was in Strathmore, we had etiquette class, and they told dudes to open for chics doors, and they also told chics to open for people doors, or rather offer to open, until a Gentleman says 'Let me have that for you...'
Gentlemen.
Ladies.
It's been lovely.
Goodnight. |
