It was at four in the morning. Where was the idiot? I was out breathing warm air into the cold misty air and it could show. Where was the bustard... It was four already.
I rubbed my hands together. I took my gloves out of my peacoat, I popped the collars up to protect my neck from the cold morning wind. I kicked a worm in the soil with my boots. The early bird wasn't going to catch the worm? Not under my watch.
"wacha naenda kumchuka, pole kungoja."
I addressed the crowd of men standing waiting with me.
I got to the house. In my anger, I picked the car keys to the big car. I got in the car. I revved it hard so that the air con would cough up hot air faster.
The road was muddy, it must have rained the last night, the houses were congested, but reasonably arranged. This idiot I was to pick had his phone off. I was going to drag him out of his house. I knew where he lived.
So no wonder the gate was opened. There they were two huge dogs in a distance. They were staring at me barking. I was half way into the compound. Why the fuck didn't they make me aware of their presence whilst I was at the gate.
I was doing the math, if I ran back to the gate and out of the compound, would I be fast enough for them not to catch me? Yes. I would be fast enough for them not to catch me, but to have enough time to just tear me into pieces of meat as I attempted to run. They wouldn't stop me, those dogs wouldn't, they would bite me, watch me try to run, bite me again.
Until, mister over there got out of his house. Boy did I ran his way, and that's how I escaped the dogs.
"wewe, sasa what times this you are waking up?"
"unataka kunichomea pesa..."
Then I saw the wife and the kid. I couldn't talk to him like that in front of them.
"Boss, si everyone is waiting for you..."
"all the workers told me mdosi amelala... Nani ukweli. But I hope you had a good night."
"Pole... By the way this is my wife."
"hello"
"hi, sasa me am your husbands driver..."
I even showed a little fear around the dogs. It was quite easy. I did everything to show the wife and kid who were lingering at the door that this guy who worked for me was the man. A man has to be a man at his house.
While we were in the car.
"sasa you didnt tell me you have a wife and toi man, ai pole..."
"hakuna shida, you said you were my driver."
"yeah, but don't make me pick you up from your home again... I will deduct fuel from your pay."
He laughed at my jokes, sometimes I wonder whether am humorous or he laughs at them cause it's me.
We were at the farm. He met with his watu-wa-mikono. I sat in the car listening to music for about an hour as they slaughtered. Men with knives at 5am in the morning. Animals turning into meat. Transport vehicle packing at the gate. Meat being packed into sacks and weighed.
"were are done, let's go get them stamped."
I rubbed my hands together. I reversed. I let the lorry move ahead. I followed it. I was watching my meat.
We got to the slaughter house. They offloaded the meat. I stayed in the car. They took sacks at intervals and brought them back. There were kids in neat and dirty uniforms walking around. Ahh I didn't miss school days. There were other kids around the car. One tried to mess with the crown on the bonnet. I had to get out.
"we are done, next step the hotel"
"why there today?"
"they are paying better per kilo..."
"you dont mind a cheque?"
"ai, check hapana, the last time I waited three months..."
"no hii wana sign immediately."
"...you sure?"
"yeah."
"ah, sawa basi."
"by the way, nimefanya a little trick hapo..."
"huh?"
"c you know hawa check nyama yote..."
"oh"
I was tempted to use the front door into the hotel. You know, common practice. This time I used the gate at the back. And the customer care is different there. Same car, same hotel, same guards, different service. At the back entrance to hotels, they talk to you, offer instructions and shout. Park there, reverse here, leave way here for the lorries, yadi yada yidi.
I was given a badge with a name tag. I didn't wear it I held it in my hand.
I supplied the meat to the hotel, cause that's what my budge said. Supplier.
"next building second floor is where the accounts office is."
"okay, good, you already have your cut?"
"yes. Tumemalizana, call me when the others are ready to be slaughtered"
I was in the office. It had employees only. I could tell. I asked for my cheque from the accounts guy. He wrote it half way then got a phone call.
"excuse me, sasa Mr.Bob, you meat isn't stamped, we can't write you your cheque?"
"there must be a problem."
We argued for a while. What I really felt like doing was grabbing the laptop lying on his desk. I wanted to yank it from his table so that it's wires disconnected while some snapped into half. Then I would slam it on the wall furthest from me. That way everyone in the office would know I wasn't ready for bullshit.
But then that would be unproductive. Most people get angry, and they react, but how you react is important. You will erupt and their will be tomorrow, and tomorrow this idiots in this office will be following me up with cops claiming I vandalized the companies assets or something. Stupid fancy words, it was just a laptop I banged cause I was angry at...
I was angry at the wrong person.
"hello?"
"hello?"
"Nyama, was not stamped? Hii ni habari gain naskia?"
"c but I was with with you?"
"Nyama, was not stamped? Hii ni habari gain naskia?"
"ah come on, c you knew about it?"
"Nyama, was not stamped? Hii ni habari gain naskia?"
And my tone was getting more serious. What did he expect I would do? I felt I needed to pretend I didn't know what was going on, even though both I and him knew what was going on. I was angry.
And I was releasing my anger in a productive way. I was telling the guy, hey I was there when you fucked up but I am pretending I didn't know you didnt have the meat stamped. So that next time when you screw up. You will not expect me to clean up your mess. He got the message. From the repetition of...
"Nyama, was not stamped? Hii ni habari gain naskia?"
I decided to direct my anger well even in the office. I told them I was to be somewhere at 9am, and I hate being made to wait. They needed to know that. And they heard it from the noise I made in the phone. They wouldn't delay my cheque then or in the future, then I finished off with a little humor. Humor is a powerful disarmament weapon. You can say all the shit you can but make people laugh, they forgive you.
"Asante."
Somehow the guy sorted it up from his end. I picked my cheque. It was a few minutes to 9am. I was in time. I left the keys to the big car on the table where we keep keys. I picked the keys to the small car. At least I wasn't going to get into trouble for that.
"ey, get up, twende..."
"lawn tennis?"
"yeah."
We were at the club at a little past 9. Had a mzuri breakfast. Played some tennis. We would chill out most of the day there. Good steak by the pool, nice pudding to cream the feasta, coffee to wash it up so that I keep awake in spite of all that food during the afternoon. We must swim. Ah, it's a good life.
I can hustle too. For those who think I am...
When you get angry, know their is tomorrow. Ask yourself, is the way you are channeling your anger productive? Will it shape up the bad habits around you for the better? Will it change the way they relate with you for better? Or are you just fucking up?
If you are just fucking up angry, that is fucked up. No, wait you are fucked up. Their is always tomorrow. Benefit. Turn your negative emotion into something positive.
