I caught up with destiny. She is a brilliant woman, one of absolutely strong principles. You can't just seduce her like you can everyone else. But I managed to bend her over.
I wanted Destiny to seat with me in the future going through the love letters I wrote to her. And I made sure I didn't screw up by uttering such words as I LoVe YoU. Cause though many people believe in love at first sight, and those who don't walk a second time, when you tell one you love them on the first day. They walk away. So, I played my cards right with destiny.
I know what my destiny is. I defined it myself over time, I know the path my life will take, sometimes I might change the path, sometimes I might realize that some things are more important than others, and I will include them in my destiny.
You can be sure, I will not chase after cheques like everyone does, cause money is a bitch you can't have enough of. You get her, you turn your house into a palace, you trade in your iron gate for a gold one, and even after that you want more. Oh, I will make a chunk, and she that will be my wife shall enjoy herself, and my great grand children will remember my name plus my moms. No squandering, irresponsibility is cool on television, but in real life. It's just a fuckery you don't want to be in.
I will not let anyone hold a gun over my cheque threatening if I don't drop this she is never writing me another cheque. I will drop her like I would drop hot coal.
Cause I live today like there is no tomorrow, but every move I make is calculated. If you want to interfere with my plans show me better, don't show me a cheque, show me what can make my heart happy, show me something with substance that my mind will appreciate. Show me something that benefits me, impress me. I win wars, and when I fight in a battle I have the war in mind.
I believe am destined for greatness as much as you believe you are a gift to mankind. I believe I am destined for happiness no matter what like you believe everyone is lucky to know you. And if you don't believe that you better look into the mirror each morning and tell yourself nice things. What if they aren't real? Trust me you will believe they are real if you look into the mirror and tell yourself those things. Besides, it will make you happier, life is short. If you can't find happiness, create it. If you believe in something, it will be. I know you have always known that.
But there is something that am doing that keeps pulling me down. It's an addiction. It is a drug, late at night when no one is watching I get under my bed, pull out that needle. Rush to the corner of the room. I seat there for about two hours deciding whether or not to. And I spend maybe four hours high. So probably six hours of my day down the drain like that.
I disgust myself, cause it kills me. I feel more empty every time I get back to earth from that high. I have a shower but my disgrace doesn't shake off my body. At first it was fun, a one time thing. I started small. Now am hardcore. But no one knows. All you see is creativity right? Where is the root of it? I do this in seconds my friend. But if I do this longer, I might get caught. Spend my life in prison, cause it is illegal in Kenya isn't it, not many people know.
So how do I break my addiction. I accept right. I have been believing I can stop, truth be told. I have tried. But this is not happening. I know am destined for greatness, but am about to literally lose my mind, all my nerves, my senses for what? For a quick unhealthy high. It's not freaking healthy.
But today I quit. I have been wanting to quit for a year now. Servicing this addiction is time consuming, brain damaging, nerve wrecking, impossible. No.
But I quit now, today I close the chapter. Every time I feel like engaging again, I will do something else. Something that keeps me busy. I will not think about it, cause when you think about something, you lose, when you listen to another's argument, you get convinced, I choose to walk away, I choose not to fight temptation. No one can fight temptation honey. That's why temptation is as temptation is. You only flee from it.
I am not about to fuck my life over small pleasures. Life is short. Life is sweet, life has many pleasure. And I consider my mind plus my heart to be too witty to be emotionally manipulated by some stupid movies into believing that what they claim to be the sweet pleasures in life is universal. I will not follow the slavery my heart is subjected to. I will live my life.
Wake up Bobby, live your life, party today, plan tomorrow. Fulfill your destiny.
Breaking the chain of my addiction.
I quit,
The End.
