I got home. The first thing I do when I get to my door is try to open the door with shopping bags in my hands. It never works, something always drops, sometimes spills. I usually try to swipe it to the neighbor's door with my shoes.
When you buy stuff where do you go first? Kitchen? Bedroom? Where do you unpack from? I was unpacking from the bedroom.
I got out seven candles, scented, vanilla, strawberry, lilac. I placed them strategically. The sun was up, but I was going to shut it out with the curtains, I did.
I unwrapped the chocolates, placed them on the bed. Different positions, so that...
Do I have to talk about sex, for you to know it's going to happen? No, you just know right. That's seduction. You never say I want sex. You just talk around it, you talk about breakfast, you talk about underwear. You hint, talk around it.
Why? Cause when you serve wine, you play a romantic movie, when you pick a flower and give it to someone, she can't say No.
That's why I don't like television, who am I kidding, I love it! Who doesn't, my DVD player bursted, something to do with me leaving it on Pause for a week. LG is weak, am looking at a Sony, the ones with the speakers almost as tall as me, kwanza seven of them.
Sasa, those ones are the ones that are going to f*** me up a nice one. Cause sometime as I watch some innocent series, even comedy, some chic spills milk on another chic's chest. Some point at the series, a woman and a man are on a bed. That's enough to get you thinking... Some point in the movie, the camera gets centered on a girl's... A microsecond, you get a close up. They don't have to tell you, get horny.
A video, a camera, dictates what you see. When I walk on the streets, and I know it's Monday morning. No one is supposed to get horny on Monday morning! So, I know that girl in front of me has things that could cause an inferno. So I take it upon myself not to look. And I don't get tempted.
But tv, they direct my eyes, they direct where the camera goes, and I watch the hills and valleys, I watch that part where a girl drops her dress on the floor, you don't see her naked, but trust me that is enough to cause you to get horny. Come on, we can imagine! No, trust me you can. You imagine, even, even when you think you don't imagine. Sex sells my friend, hapana, don't doubt yourself boss, Miss Boss, sex sells a good one, you have more power than you think. You are more powerless than you thought.
So, yes, you guessed right. I am horny, and I watched something very innocent.
Where was I? I was putting chocolates in the bed, I was serving wine, I was unpacking things I got from the shop, lighting up the candles, I know she is going to come over. I know her shoe size, she is a size six. Yes, nothing gets a girl soaked up in a smile like a pair of shoes wrapped just for her, just cause it's a Friday.
She is going to walk in through that door. Am going to play it very innocently, all of a sudden, the play-list will change to something like 'lookie, lookie, you can't get, it, get it' kidogo, 'bend over, bend over'
Quiet tones, some point, what we are watching on tv, will become boring to her, she will lower the volume herself, and ask that the music be turned up. She will walk to the kitchen taking back the plates after I cooked for her, and I cook well.
She will do a little dance when she stands up, she will not notice it, but I will. Then when she comes back she will feel like she really needs to dance. Cause isn't that what music does? And she will ask me to stand up and dance.
Innocent dance, then at some point she will feel how firm. And after a while she will be rubbing. After a while, we will be kissing, just before she wants to stop, she will bump into chocolate. At that moment when she will start telling me about not getting off her bra. I will stop. Leaving her still anticipating.
"by the way I got you a pair of..."
And she will scream jumping up and down. She will get to the door. She will want to leave cause her friends are waiting for her. I will ask that she sticks around, where the candles are, where the chocolates are, where the music is, where the curtains are closed, and it will be hard for her to leave. And in a few minutes she will be on the bed trying to cuddle.
But I will have relaxed my muscles, it will be finished, i will have finished her, all I would want to do is sleep. She will try to cling on me, but I will not be feeling sh** and that's the moment I will blame the television for making me horny, making me have to call someone up.
And if she knew that, it didn't just happened, I just didn't say, hey let's have sex, I just said it in every other way rather than words, intentionally, no accident, I placed everything in place, the playlist, the mood, the scent, the aroma, the hugs, the...
F*** it's become too easy! How do you end up into someone's arms?
