Introspection says our circumstances make us. We can be kind, we can be gentle to those around us for years. It is usually from a good place, I benefit, they benefit. That's what I believe, when I employ someone I look at both their interest and mine.
"so, how many kids do you have? Three?"
He stands by the shade, and draws a fist with his left hand.
"five."
"five?"
"umejaribu"
And we laugh, cause where he comes from it's a good thing to have many kids, only that one of them who is the first born decided not to attend secondary school, even after he called the cops on her.
"make sure, huyo aende shule, sawa?"
"but she has refused."
"it doesn't matter..."
"just keep reminding her... You don't want the rest of the kids not to go to school following in her foot steps"
"sawa"
"besides, c wewe unajua shule ni mzuri"
And we went on and on. And I told him about him needing to pay fees for the kid, can you imagine he had not simply seen things that way. No, he hadn't. But I made him see things that way, I made him realize he needs to take care of the kids, for his family, his wife. Be a man!
And I stopped repeating that when I saw him touch his lip, point at his brain, that was worry and thought.
"sasa, you know what we have to do, we have to take care of our families..."
"Mimi, sina mtoto sasa...lakini baadaye..."
"naona kenye unasema..."
"so sasa, what we plan to do is we need to increase profit."
"aha"
"obviously if you make more, I increase your salary..."
"aha"
"wacha hizi zenye patia nikijiskia, I will increase your salary so that every month, shule watoto wanaenda."
By the time I was done, I asked him why he was there, he told me for the kids, why he needed to work well, he told me, cause he need to make him some so that I give him a bigger paycheck.
I will be happy if he took the kids to some nice school, bought the wife some nice dress, called some other guy from the village to employ him to work for me but under him. I don't like telling ten people what to do, I like telling one person what to tell ten people to do. Delegation give me more time to practice my golf swing.
At the end of the day, guys from his home area would be like... Na huyo nani, c he has helped us a lot. And people will look up to him, I will get my dues, it will be a good life.
But then, when you try to talk to someone, you try to convince them of a better way, but then they decide that what they will do is steal. My friend, I have spent six years reading human behavior, body language and stuff, I know sometimes when someone decides to do something bad they are listening to the voice that say...
"boss akikuja, tumchape tumnyanganye gari, twende na wallet"
And they think they will benefit from that. I think everyone given an opportunity to tide they will, in the right way... So I make sure they listen to the voice that says...
"gari, iko na car track, hata tikimuua Bobby, pesa hakuna kwa wallet, gari iko na car track... Tutakula Mara moja, kazi hakuna, shule ya watoto hakuna, tutakunywa pesa yore siku moja..."
It always starts from the mind, and my mind is ready, ready enough to make sure their minds are ready.
Where there is hope, I stick, but some people scheme underneath. When they mess up and I fear for my life like I feared yesterday, I dont surrender, I dint give up. I go talk to people, I look for solutions for them. Cause there interest is mine, my interest is mine. At the end of the day it's all about being an angel, cause being bad is just looking for the simple option, step on people, force people, is that creative? Is that smart?
However, i guess, experiences shape people, I used to wonder why people didn't offer there phone, car keys and such to thieves in the past. I would actually give them everything I have to save my life. But these days, when someone knocks on the car window as I reverse, I see the hawker duck cause my first reaction is to throw my phone in his face.
When I drive at night and see someone on the road, I imagine they are carjackers standing in the middle of the road, you should see how much more I accelerate before I tell myself cool off.
Right now, if you screw up you leave. I will still be nice to you cause heaven says I be. But I will also protect myself and those I love. I try not to be shaped by the world, but sometimes you are hurt so much, you dont care for your life, you care more for the people you love, and the things you want to accomplish out of your life. If you die in the process so be it, the clouds are a soft bed, heaven is a golden place. I did my best. I am doing my best. I believe in good, I believe in having people's interest at heart, I believe I can have my interest to at heart. And no hurt in this world shall cause me to forget how I want to live.
