I was at a corner of the room, I was shaking, I was cold. I couldn't move, I needed my fix. I am a junkie, a Facebook junkie. That's what they say. That's what she said. Guess what, I have quit Facebook for two weeks. Don't laugh. Spare me.
All I did was for you. Yes you, all I did on my Facebook account was for you. The photos I posted, for you. The jokes I stole and posted for you. Everything for you. Why? So that one day you will be curious, go through my wall wondering, what is this guy about. And that's when you will find the links to my blog.
My Facebook account is not a private affair. My the Facebook group page as told by Bobby is clearly not a private affair maybe. But my account... So I hide embarrassing photos and expose the exciting ones. I remove every status update I update that is left lonely like July.
All the links I parade of my blog that receive no comments and likes I erase, especially the ones I put up at 4am or 3am in the morning. People don't comment on those, and update on them either. I hide them after a while. But they do get views, trust me, even at 2am in the morning, they get views. I see the statistics from the administrators office of the blog. Yes, that's the place where I seat and write. Remove my hairs as I try to make everything right, you only see the finish product.
All for you imagine, so if am at a corner, seated, holding the wall, trying to keep away from log in in my phone to Facebook, it's for you. If am sweating, burning to post a link, it's for you. But am not an addicted, that's what I told her. How dare she call me that. Two weeks I tell you, for two weeks I will not log in. I will not check my notifications, though no one checks any of them these days cause they are too many, plus friend request, too many pending. Too many scary people sending requests. But some, you accept even if you don't know who they are...
Cause that's what you got a do when you want guys to join in reading your work. There maybe someone out there who gets tired of scrolling up and down there news feeds, seeing nothing sensible, seeing nothing that theropod them, that makes them think, makes them feel. I have to be that guy, who accepts there friend request, so that one day as he or she scrolls down the news feeds, he or she shall see, as told by Bobby. And when people give it time, they love it. Sleepless nights, the day you find out you like to read novels, right?
But maybe that's not for everyone. That's what am thinking, probably, the real reason why I quit Facebook is cause if being organized is a crime, I am a criminal. And I dont mean organized in where i put the remote controls, where I put my shoes after I kick them off. Yes, a little organized in that, but also a little disorganized like a shirt ironed by a guy, a little crease here and there which I don't mind about cause am a guy. I can express what I feel on paper like a dandy. But I am so guy, I like it on her knees. If you know what I mean.
So, where were we, I really get out of topic sometimes. We were talking about how organized my life is, my mind, my social life, my schedule, my thoughts, my actions. Yes, an organized person doesn't just quit Facebook cause someone called him an addict! No, that wound be petty and reactive.
An organized person is proactive. When an organized person knows the reason why his on Facebook is to market his blog, second to say hi to random people (something to cover up the allegations made against him about him being to picky and snobby), who says hi to random people in real life? Facebook, yes. Maybe I should change? Maybe you should change? But why? Are you trying to market a blog? That forces you to say say hi to everyone, so that they get curious about that nice gentleman who always likes her status and comments. One day as she snoops through photos, she find my timeline, and then my link which has a few comments on it, so she checks it out. And the blog hooks her?
Saying I quit facebook for two weeks cause I want to prove that I am not addicted to it is a cover. The real reason I quit Facebook is sort of mathematicalical. First of all, I want to find what those bustards are doing to my friend list. Today they see I have 80friend requests, I accept them, the number of my Facebook friends increase by 80, then tomorrow, I add a couple of people, who might become potential friends, or readers, whichever works for me, so long as I have made someone feel something, or feel differently, feel right, think right, or wrong in a write way, am good. But when I add, say 10 people accept my friend requests. The number seems never to change.
So as usual, I decided it was a problem, and I love solving things, so it was a challenge. What the fuck is Facebook doing? So I went to the geek sites, the geekiest sites. Google has this thing for reading levels, simple, intermidery and advanced. I read everything, I read about the algorithm used for the timeline and top stories, and it informed my decision to be more interactive so that everyone on my friend list is associated to me via a comment, an update, a friends of friends that way my blog links can be top on there news feeds. That's the real reason. But is that a cool reason to give?
Or would you rather I told you. Hey, there is this girl I like, she doesn't like me back, but I am doing all this for her, the photos, the blog links, the blog, writing, so that she would notice me, and see that I can do something really well, and she will notice me, she will fall in love with me, and when we hit it off, I will quit the blog all together.
I don't think am addicted, but the two weeks am off Facebook, I just want to know, whether if I didn't post on facebook would you still visit me here. Are Facebook bullshitting me, or are some idiots unfriending me? Do I post to many times? So I add 80 people and 60 people leave. People only leave when you flood their news feeds, right? Or you post idiotic photos, of scary things?
I will not pretend it doesnt bother me, come on, I like to feel like my work is wanted, the statistics show it, with the daily view, but you see wants you get that, you want more, once you read, I appreciate, but later I want you to read again, then I want you to spend sleepless nights here with me talking, I want you to anticipate when I write.
But most of all, I want to quit Facebook for two weeks, I see whether my friend list will increase. If it doesn't I will deduce whether it is cause am updating too much and people are running away. But if it still acts like crazy, jumping up and down whenever it wants I will take a flight to Facebook headquarters and slap everyone that works there for causing me emotional distress that looks like addiction.
Are you organized or spontaneous? Come on, think outside the box, you can be spontaneously organized. Can you not? Good day. Yes, I've left.
